Thursday, June 30, 2005

Hopeless

I am hopeless

I mean....one minute I'm up ...the next I'm down

what the fuck?

I have never been good with the big L

never ever

ever


Moving on........thankfully


I watched THE AVIATOR last night

Leo was great

the film was great

Howie baby

you were a weird one

great visionary

but a bit whacked


sad really


Ok back to me.....

I am hopeless.................


so hopeless

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Disoriented

Has anyone 'sides me ever been so confused about their own feelings that they don’t know whether to laugh or cry? Or perhaps both?

Cos that would be me............

I founded out something........about a certain someone I thought I was no longer interested in........and this info has made me feel......well I feel sorta....

Bewildered, bugged, chagrined, confounded, confused, crushed, discombobulated, discomfited, disconcerted, disgraced, embarrassed, fazed, fuddled, humbled, humiliated, mortified, rattled, red-faced, shamed, shy, taken aback, blurred, chaotic, disarranged, disordered, disorderly, disorganized, haywire, higgledy-piggledy, in disarray, jumbled, messy, miscalculated, mistaken, misunderstood, obscured, snafu, topsy-turvy, unsettled...

....and well

all in all

I really just feel



PISSED OFF !!!


As this confusion of me emotions about this person is something I am not used to.


I have not been this out of sorts since I was with Tea Bag..


I not a happy grrl.

No Siree Bob ....

Not at all....

Monday, June 27, 2005

Shop

Its official

I have a problem

In a big way


I am a shopaholic

I went out 2day to exchange the Nautica Tee Mr.C bought me @ Costco, I exchanged it for some black Capri Dockers.........

OK.....that’s fine.

I then venture to JC Penny's to exchange the St. Johns Bay top for a top that I will actually wear and in the process realized that I needed a new pair of Keds to go with my new Liz Claiborne shorts I bought, I then realized that I also needed a new pair of scandals to go with the new Capri's I picked up @ Costco.........so I venture to Shopko as they have great shoe sales and I did pick up the Keds, Scandals and a new pair of Nikes that I didn’t need but they were marked down from $60 to $14....so me being me......thought to myself I would be a complete fool if I didn’t buy them ......


I then came home and looked in me closet and realized I have not a speck of space left for anything new.............

I need help.........

well.........

actually I need to have my hair done and my nails to go with my new............

Supreme Commandments

In a 5-4 ruling, the high court ruled that the display of framed copies of the Ten Commandments in two Kentucky courthouses is a violation of the separation of church and state, but then they also ruled 5-4 that the display of the Decalogue on the grounds of the Texas capital is a legitimate tribute to the legal and religious history of the US.




Well finally this issue of the separation of Church & State has been addressed. To me it has always been a improper government endorsement of religion, as the forefathers of this country were adamant in their vision of separating religion from government, this is the reason that the 1st Americans left merry 'ol England..........the persecution of religions beliefs...meaning if you weren’t with em, you were against em.

Sound familiar today?


I do have to mention something about Mr. Cruise and his well, erratic behavior.

He is dead set against medication of any kind that helps individuals suffering with depression/anxiety. He has stated in several interviews when he is proved wrong on this issue that the interviewer 'doesn’t understand'......

Ok, I could give a shit less about celebrities and their lives, but when one of em goes around spewing nonsense about meds that have been proven to help individuals I feel its time for that particular 'STAR" to get his facts straight........perhaps his religion of Scientology doesn’t embrace medications, and that’s fine, but for those who do, and for those who actually look up to these Celebes I feel they need to be more informed on the subject matter b4 they start mouthing off.......

Just my opinion.

And here’s another

Cult Buster said:

The reporter then asked Cruise if he felt that it was his “job to recruit new followers for Scientology?”

“I’m a helper,” said the middle-aged actor.

But then Tom made the startling claim that “Scientology [has]…the only successful drug rehabilitation program in the world…called Narconon.”

The German reporter then did something akin to Hara Kiri in Hollywood he disagreed with Tom Cruise.

“That’s not correct,” he told the star.

He then went on to say that Narconon “is never mentioned among the recognized detox programs [and] independent experts warn against it because it is rooted in pseudo science.”

Pseudo science?

Narconon is based upon the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology.

Tom then told the reporter, “You don’t understand what I am saying. It’s a statistically proven fact that there is only one successful drug rehabilitation program in the world. Period.”

opinion


Moving on....

I have decided to let the whole flashing nonsense go......its beneath me, and i feel that I will no longer be associating with the people who started this...............

I left High School a long time ago


ok then............

I am off to the gym

Need to vent

In a healthy way

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Predicament

I have a situation, well actually a problem that I thought I would Blog about as it’s a way of venting the said issue.
Last night when Izzy showed up he happened to tell me a couple of things that have left me a bit .....well.....unhappy. My issue has to do with Willard (N2's BF of 7 yrs) well seems 'ol Willy has been spreading gossip about me, very untrue gossip. Seems he told Izzy that I flashed him my breastesses........I don’t know when or where this supposed act occurred all I know is that he told Izzy that I did this. OK......well first of all I am not the type of woman who does this sort of thing........I have a bit more class and self-respect to conduct myself in this manner..........especially when it comes to one of my closest friends BF. Now I don’t know why he told Izzy this and what he thinks going to come of it......I do know that N2 is oblivious of this and I would hate to see how she would react to finding this out. Also Izzy went on to tell me a few other things about good 'ol Willy that N2 doesn’t know about either......and I wish I didn’t myself. See N2 is crazy in love with him and he in all respects seems to be a pretty decent guy, well at least that’s what I thought until last night. Now I have tossed this issue about with my brother and my cousin, and they both have told me that I need to confront Mr. Willy about this flashing nonsense as I do have a reputation to protect. As for the other info I am aware of, I believe I am going to stay out it.

This shit really just pisses me off. Why do guys and grrls have to start shit like this? Is it the age ? Or what? I mean really........I already know once I confront him he's going to deny it.....and say Izzy is a liar........and speaking of Izzy, Y did he tell me this? I know he has complete respect for me as he is always a complete gentleman when he is around me, I just don’t understand.........he was rather adamant after telling me this that I not say anything to Willard...now why is that I wonder?.....well sorry buddy when some guy starts telling people I am flashing him I think I have to confront him, I mean for Pete’s sake..........I am rather protective of myself and of my image.

I will say that 10 yrs ago in my wild and crazy days this may have occurred.........hell yea.........I partied like a possessed crazed fool........all of me grrl friends did, but that was then, and this is now......

So..........now I am going to have to deal with this and in the process most likely lose a friend over something I didn’t do to someone whom I did think of as a very nice and polite man...........

Well this is no longer the case.......


Unfortunately...........

Aint life a daisy?


UPDATE

Izzy left a message on me Celly about an hour ago stating that he hasdspoken with Willard regarding the Flashing episode and Willy told Izzy that I DID NOT flash him. Izzy then went on to say that he must have misunderstood what Willy was saying and that however I want to handle this he will understand. He also apologised for making me upset and he hopes i dont think any less of him.


Good God..........

Men


And i thought women were drama queens.............

live and learn I tell ya..live and learn


Time for some much needed ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's




2 many

Went out last night I did........it was , Mr. C , N2, and Mr.c's new grrl whom I shall call Miss Mobile, and myself. Mr.C and I had actually started our day off with a tiff but we made up and I offered to buy him a few new shirts if he would accompany me to the mall as I needed new make-up and of course 3 new tops, 2 new pairs of shades, and a few items from Bed-Bath-and Beyond, o how I love that lil store. So after we left we were driving by my Aunts Pub and Mr.C asked if maybe we shouldn’t stop in for a drink and a bite........sure why not..........well we stopped in the Pub, said our hellos to everyone and that’s when N2 called and invited me over to play poker.........sure y not..........ssooooooooooo Mr.C drops me off, and I tell him that N2 and I would meet him after the game...........which we did...........this is when it gets a bit .....well .....uncomfy for me.........see Lucy........this guy I work with has a thing for me..........and I for him........so I call him and invite him down, he shows up not 10 minutes later, which was cool as Mr. C wanted to meet him as to give him his approval.......which he did..........ok..........all is well..........then Israel calls N2 and she mentions where we were........and all the sudden there he is...........now I am in a pickle as I have Lucy across from me, Israel next to me... Do you see my dilemma? I got these 2 great guys, who like me, at the same table, at the same club..........not a good combo if u ask me

Well me being me, not really good at handling these situations...... I just sorta sneaked off and went and found Mr.C and Miss Mobile ( MM was WASTED lemme tell ya, kept going on and on about how much she loves my brother and me and how cool it is that we are so close, my brother and I, and that she wished her and her brother were as close as us , but since he's gay yadda yadda) anyway. I then sneak away from her and run into a few other friends and this grrl with whom I almost beat the snot out of last summer ( seems she thought I pulled her gf's hair when it was actually my friend.......and well......the rest is history), we have since made up and she is now my new hair dresser , strange how things work out huh? ok...on we go........Mr. C understood my predicament(with the boyz) and offered to take me home.........which I happily agreed to..........

Gosh..........what a night

I love having the boys’ chasing after me, but not all of them at the same time in the same place...tends to be a bit much.......

Anyway so I get home and Mr.C is asking me for some condoms as he is heading back to MM's place, which I give him, I only have a shoe box full of them...seriously...now I know what you’re thinking, but its only cos they hand them out like candy on campus and well I just kept them cos You Never know!...
Mr. C had a heyday with that........I would love to share his witty remarks but, well, I think it best not to..........so as he is leaving my phone rings and its the boyz......each asking if they can stop on by....OH BOY............I politely explain to them both ( each on a different line BTW) that I am knackered and need to get some sleep............

sigh

what a night..........I like them both truly I do, but Lucy is in the midst of a divorce and Izzy is very cute and very smart, but I think he is just after a lil or allot of my action, which is all gravy 'cept he is a horrible kisser.....kisses like a lizard.......ewwwwwwwwww..........and that my friends don’t fly with me...........

It’s all in the kiss.......... and if you aint got the kiss you aint got me!

anyway...that pretty much sums up my night

OH!!!
I received my award letter for WSU next yr, and I received all grants sides a loan for $2500............SAAAWEEETT!!!

So I am psyched...... as my total loan amounts are way lower than I had anticipated and that my dear readers makes it a easier life for me as my whole income wont be going directly to the bank......

Well I best end this and find something to eat..........

I a starvin Marvin....

Friday, June 24, 2005

Constitution?

Supreme court yesterday told homeowners that the government could take homes away from owners and have them torn down in order to build commercial businesses. Seems the communism we destroyed at the Berlin wall has roots in New London Connecticut. This according to
Harvey Paul, who I am agreeing with on this issue…


You decide


Story

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

P.E

Ok I am all for taking course via the internet, hell I am a full-time distance degree student my own self, but I have to draw the line when it comes to taking PE online............ I mean PE …………online?

COME ON!!



Seems in Minneapolis this is the case as the staff at a certain school has decided to offer Phys Ed online for those extra busy students who want to get by state mandatory academic courses. The students are required to meet with their instructor at the beginning and end of the class and submit weekly emails to the instructor on their progress, as they are responsible for monitoring their heart rate and physical endurance tests.

Uh huh

I just cant seem to get rid of this stupid silly smirk on me face, the hypocrisies of this subject is just killing me!!! As here we are, being told by every medical and fitness professional that we, as Americans, have the highest % of obesity in the world due to over-eating (of course) and the lack of .... or better yet ….NON physical activity. And the solution to this problem?...........offer Phys Ed to students on the computer.........that ought to whip those youngsters into shape right quick. With just a click, click, clickity click of the ‘ol mouse they will be in great shape in no time at all.... best they don’t forget to keep their heart rate in check, would be a sad state of affairs if we hade over exerted students collapsing at their monitors…

LAZY

Moving on………

I am a busy lil bee today………I have to go pick out the new carpet today, wash my car, submit my papers for my portfolio, contact my loaner about the interest rates going up next month, pick up some grass seed as my Aunt has killed patches of my yard GRRRRRRRRR……um lemme see what else?

Oh yes

I am right now heading out to the gym to workout……….or you know…… now that I think of it…typing this out could actually be substituted for my workout………

Nah


I might be a lot of things………but counterintuitive isn’t one of them………


Well........not usually.

Monday, June 20, 2005

wall-to-wall

Yesterday my Landlord George dropped by to see what’s what in regards to my brothers room...see he (George) had a guy come over about 10 days ago to fix my brothers light as it stopped working due to the ceiling fan. The fan had a short in it thus resulting in the overhead light malfunctioning. Well the idiot...(and thats a compliment)..that George sent over fixed the light and the fan but in the process somehow disengaged the outlets in Mr. C's room from working...so George stopped by to see if he the idiot had come back to fix his error...and of course he hadn’t, well Georgy said he would send an electrician out (which he did today and the power is again on in Mr.C's room) and also while he was here wanted to look at our carpet as I have been asking if he would be so kind as to put in new carpet. He looked around and laughed and said "well Coley there isn’t anything wrong with this carpet." I replied with " I know, but George this is the carpet they put in when his place was built, 20 yrs ago!"...Well...to make a long story short I won the argument and I now get to go and pick out new carpet this Wednesday.............I am rather psyched..........BUT...George mentioned that he was going to send the idiot out again to lay the carpet .........and I responded with a I DONT THINK SO!..........so he is sending someone new to do the carpet laying...

Just goes to show........I always get what I want..........

;)


Moving on...

I just returned from work and it went rather well...N2, L Lady, and myself managed the shift and all went really well.............so now I am going to find something to munch on and relax b4 I call it a day.........

Thats all 4 now

Sunday, June 19, 2005

bf i 4gt

Its Fathers day!!!

So to all them Papa's out there I do wish you a very nice and Happy Daddy Day!!

My brother and I ventured out to Tri-State Outfitters so he could buy a pair of new sneakers ( not that he needs them as he has more shoes than I do......seriously) so we were driving up and I noticed all these older folks cruising around when it hit me that it was Daddy Day............this day has never meant much to my brother and I as.....well...........our father was not a factor in our lives..........so Mr. C proceeds to tell me that his buddy called and wished him a happy fathers day......that is if he is a father and well he isn’t.........so I decided right then and there from now on this day ..for me ....will be declared

BROTHERS DAY


Yea...... my brother is the most important man in mylfe........in the family sense......so I feel since we don’t celebrate the actual holiday, that from now on I will pay respects to Mr. C.

So after we bought his Nikes and my new Teva scandals...........( They ARE SO BITCHIN!..can never go wrong with Teva baby!) we decided to jet on over to Wal-Mart to buy a BBQ as I wished to make him a nice Brothers Day dinner while he watches his SkeetBalll playoffs..........( he is ....as I write this ....putting together the BBQ,and in the process he's a mumbling and a grumbling, just basically bitching at the contraption... typical guy) so anyways..........after the BBQ is assembled we shall have burgers, dogs, and chicken.......

I think its a fitting dinner for the 1st Brothers Day @ our homestead.

Cheers

G.B.U

So I was reading a certain celebrities Blog a few months back and while there I noticed she was offering to send out free merchandise Tee’s, Mouse Pads, Etc... to the readers. So I, like many others, am not against receiving free shit so I signed on up............and wouldn’t you know it...I received a free mouse pad yesterday...How cool is that?................the thing is canary yellow and has the remark " go Blog urself" written on it............the only real problem was the name on the envelope wasn’t mine (I know one shouldn’t open mail not addressed to them, but to be truthful the envelope arrived already opened, so there you go, sides it was meant for ME anyway!)...........But at least she got the address right.Anyhoo.......... I thought I would share that with everyone.................

Moving on.........

Really nothing to new to report, I have been hitting the gym like a maniac and chewing gum like a camel in order to quit smoking and alas it is working. Other than that I have been keepi9ng myself busy with school and I have recently become addicted to the HBO show Deadwood. Tis a really cool cowboy series..................the writing is excellent as well as the acting and I just love all the swearing " YOU COCKSUCKERSSS!!!"

hehehe

I know.... I'm sick..............

But hey..... if you don’t like it..... you can just

GO BLOG URSELF!!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

reflecting

So I haven’t posted here in ages.......primarily due to the fact that I really haven’t been in the mood to tell you true. I have actually been doing allot of reflecting as of late, about my life and where I am going and where I should be and so forth. I truly wish I had a different job as I am so burned out with my present job I could just about die. I honestly have to psyche myself up to go into work........I have been having to do this for about the past 2 yrs as when I was in Portland I was doing the exact same thing as I am doing now. I cant complain about the $ nor the people I work with.( 'cept for Mamma B as she is a pain in the ass and a lazy ass to boot, but that’s an entirely different story).

I just get extremely frustrated as I am a college graduate and I should be working in the field I earned my degree in, but as it sits I am in a tiny town with limited employment, thus I am having to earn a living doing something I really dislike with a passion. I know I am prolly in the top % of Americans who truly dislike their careers , but that doesn’t mean I cannot be bummed out about it. My brother sees this dilemma with me as he lately has been giving me pep talks while driving me to work, which helps but doesn’t resolve anything. He basically tells me he is really proud of me and to just keep my chin up as when I graduate from WSU it will pay off. I tell him that’s what I was telling myself while going for my degree in Portland, he just nods and tells me it is the town we are in, not me.........which of course it so true. So that basically takes care of that .......as far as bitching about my job and the reflecting part of it.

The other side of the coin has to do with family and relationships and the lack there of. I never really have been the marring/ kids type of gal, but as of late it is something I think I might one day like to have...........being single has its bennies, truly it does, but there are just as many downsides to it as there are upsides.

I guess I am just looking at my life up to this stage and wondering " Is this all there is?" I know I am solely responsible for making mylfe what it is........and that right there is where I stand........I feel it is time to make some major changes in mylfe......starting with this lil list I have started..

1. QUIT SMOKING!!! I am not to enthused about looking 80 @ 40 nor having cancer or emphysema.

2. Finish college ..........to do this I must take more credits, which I am doing now as I am taking course this summer. If I truly want to have the career I dream of I must graduate sooner than later......or b4 I am 80.......

3. Surround myself with positive people. I have been around depressing un-ambitious folk as of late and this only tends to make me more bummed.

4. Save $, I spend $ on things I don’t need....and when I need something I do need I find that I cannot afford it as I have bought another DKNY bag, which of course I don’t NEED.......so I need to be more fiscally responsible. This shouldn’t be too much of a problem as I have always been rather smart with my cashola.

5. Be more optimistic. I have always had the problem of seeing the glass being 1/2 full. If I do intend to be successful and happy I need to look at life with a more optimist view......this not only helps one accomplish their goals, it also attract individuals that have the same outlook, which perhaps might help in meeting the right guy......


Well that pretty much sums that up for now............These are not just words........I am not blowing smoke.....I really am at a stage in mylfe where I am ready to make these types of changes. I do not want to be that person who looks back at their life and wonders " what if?"


I want to look back and think "Wow"

:)

Friday, June 10, 2005

format

Well i just finished re-formatting this damn PC AGAIN!!

Since I have gone Cable I seem to be doing this fun lil chore about every 4 months....
and its oh so much fun....

I am off to the jobola........

Update

My back injury is healing nicely........its gradutated from a sprain to a pinched nerve.


isnt that lovely?

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Solo-Mini-Bio

I thought since I haven’t updated in awhile I might as well divulge a bit about me….. for those who might be interested....

So ....

Here we go……..


About Me

Who: Nicole

Born: January 5th,1972

Hometown: Spokane, WA

Occupation: Nursing, Full-time University Student

Three words that describe me best: Witty, charming, serious

Secret vices: coffee, working out (for the rush), making people laugh

Favorite Foods: Pizza, Italian, STEAK

Favorite color: Blue

Dream vacation: A trip around the whole of Europe

Things I can do without: Liars, thieves, too much mayo, raw fish of any kind, hangovers

Favorite movies: Gia,American Beauty, Braveheart, Fargo, Ray, The Big Chill

Star Crush: J Phoenix, Angelina Jolie, Darren Hayes

Favorite cartoons: Bugs Bunny….he be da man!

Favorite Superhero: Superman

Musical preferences: Everything….I am very eclectic with my choice of music…….but I don’t like Rap. Period.

A great reading experience: As a child “Where The Red Fern Grows” as an adult Stephen King or Ann Rule. I also like “All Quiet On The Western Front” by Erich Maria Remarque, I love all his work, I truly cannot put down his books.

Toothpaste: Mentadent whitening.

Soap: Oil Of Olay

Scent: Burberry, by Burberry

Shoes: Reebok, Burks, sandals

My Current Ride: Honda Accord

Three items always found in my refrigerator: Evian, Kool-aide, eggs
Permanent Body Artwork: Only my ear piercings, I am not one for tattoos…I like them on men, but I hate them on women……….ewwwwww

Favorite Places to visit: Frisco, Hong Kong, LAS VEGAS!!!!

Something people may be surprised to know: Every time by brother smiles at me…it literally makes my day………

I shall return tomorrow.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Owwy!!

Last night...I was doing my job. All was well. L Lady asked me for some assistance with a patient who is rather big . So I go and help her with this patient and in the process.........pulled something in my lower back. I actually CRIED out when it happened. LL looked at me with some concern and asked me if I was OK...........'Ummmmm yea...I think so' I say. I tried to walk it off...to no avail. N2 immediately told me to go 2 the Doc's..........I told her they don’t do shit cos they really don’t..........she replied " better than being in pain, which is what you will be here in about an hour." Turns out she was RIGHT!

So I call me lil bro.........he picks me up, (he was really concerned and I thought that was so cute) and then drops me at the ER. The Doc was sweet.........told me I pulled something (YA THINK!?) then proceeded to send me on me way with some painkillers and muscle relaxes. No Lifting, no pulling, no Yadda Yadda........been there....... done that.

I have hurt my back in the past.............several times...........but nothing like this.....I am actually walking like an old lady.

I am not HAPPY!!!

The biggest thing that pisses me off is the fact that I cannot work out.........that’s what really pisses me off............

and I wince every time I move my butt in the chair....

So I am heading off to work............to stand around and well..........hobble and yelp.

I should fit right in.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Ray

I just watched Ray (I know, I am behind the times here) and it was an amazing movie. Jamie Foxx's performance was mesmerizing. I have always been a RC fan, but after seeing this film it has only made me more so. So for all of those who haven’t seen it yet.....I really do recommend it. I also have 2 other flicks to blog about,Ladder 49 & Team America. TA sucked ASS!!! Those dudes need to stick with animation, but the fire fighter flick was really cool....maybe cos I am secretly in love with Joaquin Phoenix and have been since Gladiator & Quills.....yumm!

Moving on..

Really nothing to new to report. I am getting ready to hit the gym and then its back here to dig up 3 papers from my PCC days to submit to WSU for me writing portfolio, which I might say is a complete and utter waste of fucking time. I am a graduate and therefore, I must obviously have the ability to write a damn paper...........I even taught English for crying out loud....so for me to dig out this stuff, will be time consuming and well, irritating.


In other news.

Glad to hear that the deep throat mystery has now been solved, now maybe the government can get back to business.
Then again maybe not.

Don’t wanna fix somethin that aint broken...

Right?