Thursday, December 30, 2004

Persistence pays off......

Well......My life is never dull.......and as of late that definition of my life could never be more true...

My brother is really sick again....and we shall see if he needs to be in the hospital here in the next few days.......I went into work tonight and my staff sent me home....I love those grrrls....they are absolutely the finest individuals I have ever had the honor to work with....so a big THANK YOU to all the grrls @ CC.

My shocking adventure has once again taken on something more electric than I had ever imagined.....talking til 6AM led to us finally making decisions of commitment which made everything more solid and stable....so that has made me very happy....and I am no longer running from it....Shocker just wont let me go.....so now......Shocker is stuck..poor poor Shocker

:)

I am getting my last assignments finished this evening so I can have a weekend without stress......and that way I can get registered for my classes and get my Degree before I reach 40......which would be really really neat , nifty, and nice ......if you know what I mean..

On a lighter note

I am terribly sorry to Binks and Patti Anne for not being a better friend the past week....I have been shall we say ....pretty fucking busy and a little well ALOT frazzled.....but I am back on track and hopefully all will be ok with Mr. C and school.......and all that happy crappy.....so Binks PLS Know I love you and I will call you......I promise........and Patti Anne thank you once again for always coming through for me when I need you.......you are my ROCK...

Ok then....
I shall be back @ a later time.......so stay tuned

ciao

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

In My Hayes

Hero
Darren Hayes & Robert Conley


Outside confidence is king
I am all that you're projecting
Inside feel the rising tide
And the revolution's deafening
I was trying to hide my opposing side
Trying to reconcile my Jeckyl and Hyde

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please

I don't want to be your hero
No I am not open parts of me are broken
Do yourself a favor save yourself


Don't pick me find someone else
Why do you want to bother?
Find yourself another

Sometimes you put all of your desires in an object of affection
But in time because you idolize there is only disappointment

I was flying so high in your perfect sky
But I needed to fall
Cannot have it all

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please

I don't want to be your hero
No I am not open parts of me are broken
Do yourself a favor save yourself

Don't pick me find someone else
Why do you want to bother?
Find yourself another

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
No I am not open parts of me are broken
Do yourself a favor save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
Why do you want to bother?
Find yourself another

I don't need to compromis
I don't need to occupy the floor
There's a danger in boxing in my sin
And all that I am
It's too much pressure

I'll only let you down again(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure

I'll only let you down again(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)

Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
No I am not open parts of me are broken

Do yourself a favor save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
Why do you want to bother?

Find yourself another
It's too much pressure

I'll only let you down again



A dedication.....

Love Always...



Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Holiday.......

I am leaving on the 1st for a weekend getaway....just booked my travel plans and room......I am in dire need o fa getaway. I am working New Years Eve.....so I wont be going out......nor do I have any desire to go out........just me, myslef, and I for a weekend..........I am looking forward to it....

I am still fighting with my advisor over getting registered for Spring Semester....so I may not be going next semester...which I guess would be ok and then again not............I will know more tom.

I havent anything else to report other than I fianlly found my brother and brought him home Sunday night.......he is ok....well........as okay as he can be.....

I shall update again here soon

ciao 4 now

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Madness...

THE DAY AFTER…

Here I am ... just finished cleaning, vacuuming, dishes, dusting, laundry...all of the fun domestic shit....

soooooooo

I am finally sitting down and relaxing a bit...I cant really divulge what happened on my X-Mas...just know it was madness and I didn't celebrate as my Brother left x-Mas morning...so needless to say I still haven't opened any gifts and I wont until I hear from him, if he ever comes home again......when he left he told me he wouldn’t be……I am hoping he was just angry….I know he was hurt…..anyway…….It is not like my brother to do that……this whole things has made me very.......... sad
yea......

so .
it was by far the worst x-Mas of my entire life........and I just wish my family could settle disputes in a better way.....what I would really like is if the people in my family would not act on their thoughts/feelings without thinking of the repercussions....That's what I would really like ....That's my New Years wish......

Ok well I received a nice morning message from Binks and he sounded VERY MERRY.... so I wanted to take a moment and wish him a great X-Mas and a very ABFAB New Year.... also let him know that I am ok...nothing to worry about......I have worked it all out...........

Well I think I am going to finish watching this flick I started last night and finish my laundry...and wait for Mr. C to call me.... if he will....
:(

PeaceI’m outy

Friday, December 24, 2004

Merry Christmas

Christmas Eve...wow where did this year go? Seems like they go by faster and faster.....

I must be off to the 'ol J.....I work tonight and then I will have X-Mas day with my lil Bro and the rest of the fandamily.....

So I hope you all have a fabulous Holiday and Santa brings ya's whatcha wished 4!

Happy Holidays...



Thursday, December 23, 2004

always right

I wrote yesterday that I felt something was amiss......that the electricity in my shocking adventure had been reduced to a voltage that that was hard to detect.......and if I must be honest here...I liked the electricity......ALOT.....well seems that I wasn't wrong and that things have changed and pretty much I guess that's where its at.....I left it like that.......I knew eventually this would happen, I would open myself up and WHAMO!! I would end up getting hurt or told......"well....you know its like this"......yea I know what its like.....all to well...I was hoping I wouldn't have to revisit the land of You-Know-What-Its -Like....I really was hoping this might be the one. Guess now I will never know and I will forever wonder......so that being said I am going to get ready for work and get my mind off of things.......best thing to do now is stay busy and keep my mind occupied.....yea should be easy.....sure thing

right.


I shall end this now and call it a Blog

Side Note

My heart and prayers go out to the soldiers who were wounded and killed in Iraq a few days ago......I wish I had the words

I don't.

ciao

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

All that's left is the rip-n-tear

Ok so I finally did it! I shopped and shopped and all but dropped......all is done including the wrapping...well all 'cept the baby outfit I bought....but other than that I am FINITO!!

YES!!

Another season done....all that's left is the opening and the ooohhhhhiiiiiiing and aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhing.....which of course...is the best part. I did it all in one place too! Well I hit the mall and only needed to go to 3 stores... The Bon, Penny's....and some other place...of course the name eludes me @ the moment...anywayz.....I am quite pleased with my purchases and very pleased that I didn't go over the 400$ mark...veddy nice ...plus...its way nice for me wallet.....another bennie issss I bought my self a gift as well...what the hell.....my B-day is in a few weeks.....so figured I might as well.....

I am in love with Burberry...tis a perfume I wear and ONLY Burberry......I was in Vegas a few years back and happened on a fragrance that Burberry makes and FELL IN LOVE.......only I could never remember the name of it until tonight.....while I was @ The Bon I was checking out the smelly section and 'voila.....there was my Burberry.....and 'voila again.....there was the fragrance that has been evading me for the last few years......I found out that it is called "Brit" which is rather fitting as it is made in London......so I tested some.... but being the ass I am I decided to buy my stand by the original Burberry....but.....always a but..... I had sprayed the Brit on me wrist so while I continued on my shopping spree I kept on smelling meself....until finally...... I couldn't take it no more( that is meant in a good way....) and went back and bugged the sweet and patient Sales lady for an exchange...(and of course... by this time I had already lost the receipt for the purchase that I had made..lets see....not 20 minutes b4....uh huh...so typical...ok back to the tale at hand)...so after I made my FINAL DECISION...me and Brit walked out together ......very happy :)

ok then...


.....I have been feeling strange today.......I don't feel like things are as shocking as they once were for some reason.....cant put my finger on it......just that something feels amiss......maybe last nights chat carried its strange remnants over til today....hard to say........but time will tell.....

Ok....so Now I must clean up the bits and pieces from the wrapping party I just had......and as a side note I wrap presents like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum......I am HORRIBLE!! I have no artistic wrapping qualities whatsoever....I shoulda had the wrappers @ the mall do it but I was in no mood to stand in line .....which now that I think of it......the lines tonight weren't all that bad....and everyone was very nice and polite.......yea......was a good experience, perhaps its the small town mall I went to...made for a rather nice x-mas shopathon, but that doesn't mean I want to go back and do some more.......oh no no no

Alrighty then.....I shall kick it for now and catch ya lata'

Ciao

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

dunno

I dunno what to write about today.......I really haven't done anything worth writing about....I am now more aware of Sausage arms than I needed to be but its all a good thing....lemme see.....Abstinence can be a good thing...and what else...working out for 30 minutes on a step master will make you swear ALOT.....ummmmmmm and I now know that I will most likely be lat 4 work and that's ok.....oh and my extended family ......I will keep one of them nameless....well HE can kiss my ass and like it.....

yup

Pretty much that's it for today......all my rants and rage for the day.......

Oh on a lighter note....Does anyone remember the Electric Company ? I LOVED THAT SHOW...it was kinna like the sesame Street for the cooler kids........Morgan Freeman was on it....how cool is that?....he was the Easy Reader...and then there were The Adventures Of Letter Man.....that was the shit man!!!....OMG.... fun!!!

Ok....my retardo stage is @ an end .......I shall now take my groovin self to the J........

yea man

ciao


Monday, December 20, 2004

Yet to Start........

To shop or not to shop? Tis the question of my week.......as I have yet to begin shopping.....I told you all I am the biggest procrastinator of all time. I truly hate shopping....I am not big on crowds, screaming kids, grumpy sales clerks and packed parking lots and my favorite is waitin in those forever lines......oh how I dislike it so. I mean I really cannot take it......I have never been big on X-mas shopping......but I have to do it.....as with most things its a "have to". So I do believe I will do it all on Wednesday......just 2 days b4 X-mas eve. .....yup that's the plan now....

Well my good friend Jackies just came by and we had a good chat....she always makes me feel good about everything.....she has her Bachelors in some type of Social Services......she works with drug abusers and emotionally challenged individuals.....and she is excellent at what she does....so I can talk to her just about anything......as she can relate to what I'm going through with regards to school and mife( my Life)....anyway she came by and we made plans for X-mas Eve....so I am looking forward to seeing her and having some spiced nog....yea....shall be a good time..

Ok then....I am having some superficial dilemmas at the moment..seems that I cant get passed a physical attribute regarding someoneI am seeing.....I don't know why, but I really just wish I could get passed this ..its not one of my better attributes..Truly it isn't...I know why I am having this little prob as I was........ at one time ...with someone I wasn't physically attracted to.....I loved this person, but when it came to being physical..... I always had to take myself somewhere else emotionally....like take myself somewhere other than where I was.... and I HATED it....I don't want to do that again........it isn't fair to me nor the person I am with......so here I am again in a similar situation....but this time I can be honest about what I am feeling and thinking, which I wasnt able to be in my past relationship.....so I am hoping.. that since I am being honest and sincere that perhaps I/we can work through it and make it work....cos I really want to make this work....

well I shall move on now......and recommend my song for the day..well 2 songs for the day....Coleys choice(s) R.....Kenny Chesneys - You had me @ hello and Kenny Loggins -Whenever I call you friend.....one old and one sorta new.......

I am off now to shower and run to the store and come back here and put the finishing touches on the 3 papers I have written about history........

oh and the Tree turned out very bright and shiny with a STAR that reminds of something from Rainbow Brights Pony show......yea.....really COULRFULLLLLL

Ok well I shall end this and update soon.......sooner than later.....

Stay tuned........

Ciao 4 now




Saturday, December 18, 2004

Truths

I just now rolled out of bed…I was up until around 4:30Am last night…had myself a small dose of that serious talk…I usually am not one to partake in the “serious talk” but I have to admit it went rather well……….came to the conclusion that I am capable of being committed but…………I need to take things SLOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY…

So yea…I am glad to know that a certain individual will be ok with that…….. I would also like to wish Shocker a very Happy Birthday today…don’t do anything I wouldn’t do…..and if you do......just don’t get caught.


Today is the day of the Tree…I have to go out and dig the bugger out of the storage shed…. I would have preferred to have gotten a real tree but ………..seeing how I am getting to it so late and all…….might as well use the artificial tree…plus I have a habit of picking out the lone “Charlie Brown Tree”…..and then of course my family gets all nuts (or is that peanuts?) on me and makes fun of my lil Charlie tree…..so better to use my moms ol’ fake tree then submit some poor innocent lil tree to the glares and mocks of my scroogy fandamily.

Moving on….

I really have nothing to report …I haven’t been watching the news at all…I am completely oblivious to what is going on in the world…which I guess……. in some aspects... is a good thing…keeps me from shouting @ the TV and throwing the paper in the trash …..or perhaps I just have an anger management problem? Better take something for that…..speaking of….. Taking that “magic pill” for everything …I DID notice on the news An independent research team found that the Pfizer drug Celebrex ….more than tripled the risk of heart attacks and strokes in some regular users..... this is what I overheard on some news broadcast last night while I was working….this is .......I think the 3rd or 4th drug that has been found to have serious side affects. Is it not?
Why is it that these complications weren’t found prior to the drugs release? I have heard that the FDA keeps drugs in clinical trials and research labs for up to 10 years? Wouldn’t one think that in that time the scientists could have established that these medications were indeed unsafe or perhaps could have offered the information to the patients so that they could have made a better well informed decision regarding the drugs they are taking?

Or.

Could it be that the pharmaceutical companies are Greedy,Power- mad, evil motherfuckers who could care less about the American people and their health? So they forgo any and all safety measures to reach their goal of that all mighty Dollar?



I think I will go with the latter


Stay tuned for the next exciting episode….

Ciao 4 now

Friday, December 17, 2004

My List

Dear Santa.

Its been a long long time since I have written to you......but to be honest.... I haven't always been a very good girl ....well I was NEVER a good girl during a few of those years......but you know the old saying "Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere."....well that's about as fitting a description of me than anything....although, I must admit this year I have been extra special and extra good and was hopping that you might consider at least ACCEPTING my letter this year...a couple of those years they were returned and I personally thought ..that was rather rude.......

ok then......I shall begin..... but..... Just as a tiny bribe...... if you would be so kind and deliver on a few of these requests I will forgo the milk and cookies....and leave you a nice bottle of Macallan Scotch whiskey and a nice Cuban..
;)

1(A) Kidney for Mr. C
1. M3 BMW Coupe'
2. Personal Trainer
3. Beach house in Malibu
4. Summer House in France
5. New DELL system...top of the line....
6. Darren Hayes in a Bow under my tree
7.New Black Oakleys to replace the ones that were knicked
8. Well really....... I would enjoy a stress free lifestyle, a good healthy relationship and happiness and peace on earth.......ummmmm.....I feel like some dumb ass model on a ridiculous pageant.


Thank you

Merry Newness and Happy XXX-MAS


Ciao




Thursday, December 16, 2004

Obsessive Intoxication

Here I be once again getting ready to divulge a little bit more of myself for the whole world to read...but its all good.....Work went well tonight..we all had some laughs ....until poor Fairy Girl had her thumb broken by one of our not- so- well -mannered clients....I felt really bad for her...she was in ALOT of pain.....so we sent her to the ER and she returned about 4 hours later with a nice pretty blue cast on her thumb/wrist and a script for some mild pain killers ....so with time and a bit of pain.... she should be okey dokey.....
after she was put on the sidelines the remainder of our crew..L Lady N2 and myself made the best of the night and got 'er done.....afterwards....Mr.C came and picked me up and was sweet enough to buy me a cold Sammy Sprew to top the evening off........it just makes everything neato grand to be home... relaxing....especially after a good night like tonight...really feels like I accomplished something and made a difference....

Speaking of having a good night......seems Shocker is feeling NO PAIN this evening......I just now got off of the phone with the buzzen Shocker who was in the process of heading home and begging me to answer my phone.... as apparently I HAVE to talk and listen to more of the enthusiastic love chat induced by alcohol......oh scratch that.. I just received another call .....seems Shocker and the Double J's are in the midst of a game of pool.....That's great... cos hopefully I can finish my paper and fall asleep before the next call....I don't know about anyone else but listening to someone who is snockered and pining for you is not in my book a barrel of laughs nor easy to tolerate...unless ....of course..... you are snockered as well.. or being the sole drunk love whore your own damn self.........anyway I do hope Shocker and Company have a good night and stay safe....

I have to do an 80's flash back tonight.....I have been on a Judas Priest trip as of late and I downloaded a few of their tunes and happened upon a file that some very giving individual was sharing.....turns out its the COMPLETE Best of JP album in its entirety.....so how flipping bitchin is that? No need to search for all of my fave's ..I lucked out and grabbed them all lickity split.......JP will be.... for me....... one of the best metal bands of the past 20 yrs.....British Steel...in a big way!!!

solid rock babyz!!

Ok.....well I must finish a paper and call it a night.......Tomorrow is Friday and then I have a 3 day holiday......veddy nice.

til then......later!


Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Too Fast For Me

Today has been rather eventful to say the least...woke up and had me coffee....My brother went in to do the Big "D" and asked me to let him sleep until @ least 2ish .....so that gave me time to run some errands b4 he had to jet on up to Spookaloo for his big appointment tomorrow. I used the time to go 2 Albertson’s and get Domino her treats.. as she has been jonsen in a big way for her feast of fancy....I grabbed some C's ...vitamins that is....and other necessities and while exiting I hit that wonderful Starbucks joint for a cuppa-heaven and headed off to the "J" for the Flu shot....which I just love! Getting a big 'ol needle slammed into my arm is always a joyous occasion......and the throb that settles into my arm for the remainder of the day is just an extra bonus....fabulous feeling I must say......so I returned back home to do some cleaning and packed my baby bro up for his trip....... I am just now sitting & relaxing with a nice cold Sammy Adams..mhmmmmmmm

after a bit I am gonna finish some papers for My History class and maybe throw in a DVD a bit later and call it a day.....


SIGHHHHHHHHHHH...or better yet YAWNNNNNNNNNN



Its been busy… busy…….. but I love days like these.. days when I get so busy I can forget about what I am usually trying to forget about.......


yea.

Moving on....

I received a package from my Patti Anne today.....much thanx to her... she also enclosed some photos of herself and the kids....which made me smile....one of those warm and fuzzy happy smiles only your best buds can give ya.....I must say she is looking ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!......she really is....see Patti Anne had a gastric bypass surgery this past June and has already lost about 120lbs.....I am so proud of her and I am so flippin happy for her!...she looks great. great!...and I am not exaggerating.....she looks so fucking happy too.....wow. really cant express it either....I mean her smile in her pics..I don’t think I have ever seen her smile so BIG... so I send all me love to her.....as always....and a BIG thanks to her for my goodies...

Anyway ..........I have a cute story...,which coincides with today’s title....

So Lets begin.....

My brother gives me a ride to work just about daily....so he can have the car as I work swing shift... I have always let it be known that his driving scares the HELL out of me.....he is one of those drivers that is always doing a trillion things @ once....talking on his Cell....smoking a fag....diddling with the stereo....Etc. Well I have been in a few car accidents in my time so I am a bit gun shy when I am the passenger...Jumpy would be an understatement if one were to describe me.....so there you go

anyho......


Mr.C is always gunning the car right before we hit a stop sign or an intersection....and of course I am about to jump out of the fucking seat and onto the roof of the car like some crazy tormented cat....well yesterday was no exception as he did what he always does and I reacted in my normal over-reacting way......so he just looks at me with his shit-eating grin and goes “What’s the prob? Why do you always do that?" .....I just go ...."Well...you make me nervous"...so he proceeds to pat my leg and go "Its ok lil girl......I wont hurt you.....I will try not to scare you"....he then moves his seat clear up to the steering wheel and proceeds to drive at exactly 10 MPH. ...The whole time he is just staring right ahead … looking back and forth and occasionally looking at me and saying "I don’t wanna scare you hun....U just let me know if I am going to fast....." All the while patting me on the shoulder really soft and gentle...

LMAO!

I mean he looked like some geriatric driver.... just zoned out on paranoia.....

Needless to say I was laughing so hard I couldnt’t breathe much less care about his driving...or being maimed for life.( which... if the truth be told.... is what is usually running through my mind during our daily commute)

anywayz......he Finally got me to work....only a measly 10 minutes late.....little shit........

He is soooooooo laughs at times.

Ok then.... I must finish these assignments and returns some emails........

Shocker is in dire need of a lil attention from me today.......its all good.

Ciao 4 Now

UPDATE
Its been entirely to long since I have put my U.S causality report up here....

I have to admit that when I looked at the numbers.....the difference between the last time I did an actual update ...roughly 4 weeks ago and now.....well the numbers are rather significant...

My heart and compassion goes out to ALL of the families who have suffered losses due to this war...on both sides..... I can only imagine that at this time of year...it is especially difficult.

God's speed to the soldiers and civilians ........

IRAQ

American Deaths:

Since war began (3/19/03):
Total-1299
In Combat-1023


American Wounded
Official -9844
Estimated -15000-20000

The wounded numbers above reflect the official count as released by the U.S. military. However, there are other estimates that 12,000 soldiers have been treated for illness, non-combat injury and combat injury since March of 2002.

War may have killed 10,000 civilians, researchers say

Latest Fatality December 15th, 2004

http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/


Tuesday, December 14, 2004

I almost forgot.....

PINK



"Love Song"


I've never written a love song
That didn't end in tears
Maybe you'll rewrite my love song
If you can replace my fears
I need your patience and guidance
And all your lovin' and more
When thunder rolls through my life
Will you be able to weather the storm?
There's so much I would give ya, baby
If I'd only let myself
There's this well of emotions
I feel I must protect
But what's the point of this armor
If it keeps the love away, too?
I'd rather bleed with cuts of love
Than live without any scars
Baby, can I trust this?
Or do all things end?
I need to hear that you'd die for me
Again and again and again
So tell me when you look in my eyes
Can you share all the pain and happy times
'Cause I will love you for the rest of my life
This is my very first love song
That didn't end in tears
I think you re-wrote my love song
For the rest of my years
I wil love you for the rest of my Life

Hairy humans

I'd Like to Have That One Back......George Strait its a STRAIT day... today........I really love him.....seems I love a lot of artists doesn't it?..... but I do adore him.....I bought my GF the George Strait Box Set 4 her Birthday a few months back and I thought "Hey......I love all of these songs too"...so I went ahead and bought one for meself...so every other day I listen to a different disk.....and I always find a new song I have never heard and fall in love with it....

Ok here we go......

I just read a story about a man in Florida who was arrested for biting his dog as a form of punishment.....

?

Ummmmmmmm...... ok then....

Seems he feels its the best way to train a dog..the police arrived and the dog was cowering in the back of her crate with her paw all bloodied from where the other animal had bitten her.....I think perhaps he( the so-called human) might need his shots and a good dipping followed by a big Alpo supper.....if the man wants to act like some wild animal then I believe he should be treated as such...although his actions were more beastly than any domestic pet I have ever come across.......pets don't usually resort to biting their humans to train them or get attention...peeing in a shoe or eating the curtains will usually get the desired affect..or so I have found...

well my mother did once.....seems one of our dogs liked to eat curtains and shit tablecloths ;)

....but that's a tale for a different day.



Ok then...

Yesterday I spoke with my Advisor @ WSU and it seems I may have messed around a bit to much this FAll..its all fixable..no need to panic!!!!!!..really!!..
No... I actually just need to submit about 4 assignment by Friday if I want to be able to register for Spring Term.....other than that all my ducks are in a row. I have decided to put up the TREE this weekend and Monday get my shopping done.....I usually wait until the 24th, but this year I have to work....so I guess my procrastinational ways just wont do this year....dammit man!

so I must start my hum drum day......well its not so hum drum...it has a hint of a excitement to it as well...a kind of fresh and breathtakingly shocking element to it....yea...I would say that's a fitting description........

ok folks taker 'er sleazy.....

ciao!!






Monday, December 13, 2004

The fabulous life

Woke up today feeling a bit better.....then I turned on the tube and I got caught up in the Fabulous Life of Some Celebrity I Could Care Less About .....I mean do people really watch this shit?.....I sat and watched just to see what the big 2 do is about ....and I really...... honestly....... cannot see the appeal behind watching someone livin it up with Jets, Mercedes and Versace....I mean it would be nice...... but I do believe there are more pressing matters that we could concern ourselves about...such as why some freak jumped up on a stage at a Damageplan concert and shot and killed the guitarist"Dimebag" Darrell Abbott, 38, becos he left his previous band Pantera. Why this horrible act had to happen is baffling and disturbing....my thought and prayers go out to the family and fans of the victims.....and much love to Mr. C.....as he adores the slain guitarist.

I must be off......time to hit the shower and have a cuppa..might even head to Starbucks for a cuppa heaven...... Eggnog Late'......just love those...


Have a Merry Monday....

blah...

:)


lata'



Sunday, December 12, 2004

I wont tell em your name

Here I be on a Sunday...in a strange mood too....still feeling a bit sickish.....got the Blahs......I guess that would be perfect way to describe how I feel.....listening to the Goo Goo Dolls today......pretty fitting tunage to fit my melancholy mood....also listening to Keane...I really like this band....I heard that they named themselves after their hometown in England....anyway I think they are way cool....that song Somewhere only we know is pretty coo too.

So I am not feeling like myself today and really haven't been as of late....Don't feel like I am going to meet up 2 the expectations that have been set for me....feel like maybe its the idea of ME that has someone all trippin....That's how I feel....and I don't know what to do about it.....Need to just have a meet n greet and see what's what.....

Moving on......

I tried to sign up for my Spring Courses and as usual I have to meet with my Advisor b4 I can get into my classes....I keep 4getting that @ WSU your advisor is pretty much like a doting parent......Have to be up in your action at all times....which is nice......keeps one from taking the wrong classes and getting on an academic detour so to speak.....so I shall hear back from her in the Morrow hopefully....

I need to get the X-mas Tree up and try and spread some holiday cheer....which may be a bit hard this year.....Ol' St. Nick and I are in completely different universes this year.......hopefully I will snap out of my Scroogy mood and find my Merry Merry side......there is always spiked eggnog to help me out.......

Ok then.........I shall call it a Blog and check out....

Ciao 4 Now




Saturday, December 11, 2004

Letting myself go....

Well I have decided to do as my title states and let my shocking adventure take me where it may.....life is to short to stop your self from feeling whatever it is you are feeling.....and if you never take a chance or take that plunge..then u will forever wonder...."What If"?

Moving on....

Its official I am sick....I have finally caught the bug that's been going around @ work....so needless to say I feel like death today.....I have the humidifier going...the cough syrup at arms reach sipping on a bowl of chicken soup ..and my baby bro is on his way to get me some tissues....

Speaking of my Bro...he just walked in and asked me what kind of a chair I wanted for X-mas...All I asked for was a new Black Leather office chair for my PC as I take all my classes via the PC.....so he wanted to know if I wanted one with a heater and a massager....mmmmmm. YEA SURE!! :) I so love my baby bro...

okay folks I am gonna call it a day.......Crawl into bed....Watch the West Wing and try and catch some Zzzzzzzzzzzzz'z

Ciao 4 Now


Thursday, December 09, 2004

Kiss My Invisible Ass.....and like it!

And here we go with the ongoing saga I like to call my life...

So I am @ work tonight and all is going well....I am working with Mamma B, N2, and who I used to call Puppy Girl but shall now forever call Fairy Girl....for reasons I shall share at a later time. So as I was saying....all was going well ....typical shit...as I work with all WOMEN... the drama can become quite intense and ridiculous, but its usually tolerable. Well I was standing in a room with Mamma B and we were discussing a work out routine that she and I will start when we hit the gym together in January......I was saying I would really like to work on my Abs and that's when Miss. Secretary walked in and says "You don't even have an ass! What are you talking about!?".. Mamma B gave me that look like "oh. Shit!' As I turned around and went "WHAT!"?


Ummmmm firstly I wasn't even talking about my ass. (MY ABS)....but since your rude ass brought it up.......here we go.


Now mind you I am not Jenifer Lopez......I am a 5'11, Blue Eyed, Long legged Blonde, All-American female.....and yes I may not be fucking Pamela Anderson but I am Not a piece of fucking cardboard....and better yet.....I would prefer it if only my long -time friends would point out my obviously rather flawed
derriere.......

ok then....... back to to the tale at hand......

So she continues to go on about how I don't not have an ass and etc and then Proceeds to turn around and ask this MAN "don't you think she has no ass?" Well....the man says" I think she has a great ass...although she is in scrubs...I really like it".

Thank You Mr. MAN!

I don't know why that got to me......but it did....I mean really..... how would someone like it if was to act in that same manner.....? Rather un-nice.... if I must say.....as it would be like if I walked up to someone and went....."You know.....you have really bad hair, a saggy ass....so you need to get your sorry ass on out a here!"....well....tis not something I would say....as it is RUDE!!.....

so there you go....

The story does have a happy ending......I woke up this AM and Miss Secretary had written me an email apologizing for the rude comment and I accepted saying.."yes, it was rather petty".

but....... it was still juicy enough to blog about here.

Moving on......

I must go to work tonight......but its all good ......I have this song in my head about someone......you know the one from.... Carlos Santana......"Why don't you and I get together" I do believe this song is a fitting description about my state of mind and heart today.....

NICE!!

Hope you all have a bitchin fabulous day!!

Catch Y'all lata!!

Ciao

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Electric, Sensational......Throw rugs.....

Well I just now rolled out of bed....at 2PM........I SLEPT SO GOOD!!! I feel like a million bucks today.....I think I may have kicked the insomnia bug.......I may have found the cure....finally...only took me 3 years to find it.....and it isn't any drug that one can buy ....or some crazy narcotic.....I found it by accident....I tripped and found it under the throw rug :)


Moving on....

Today I am listening to James Taylor and Van Morrison.....in that kind a mood....I know a certain someone would say "Ummmmm" but hey..I love all kinds of tunes...and sometimes Van takes me there....I will however... throw on something a bit more upbeat here in a minute ...right when I get ready to leave....just to livin shit up a bit....

I talked with Binks last night and wow buddie....you are in a lil drama there...just a bit....yea...so I do hope you get it all worked out and all is groovy,great,and grand in your life.....I sure wouldn't want to see you get fucked over.....and if you do....gimme a call.....I fix it 4 ya!!

Ok .....here is something interesting....I was reading the paper yesterday...if you can call the grouped up articles they put together and send out in this town a paper...tis rather cheesy...
anyho....
I was reading about how John McCain says the Oil-For-Food program might justify the invasion of Iraq...

???????????? WHAT!!!

Ok this just boggles my fucking mind it truly does..I love how after the fact the powers-that-be can find new ways of justifying the ever increasingly bloody war in Iraq. Seeing how we couldn't find any WMD's it is now due to theOil-For-Food scandal which may be one of the justifications for the invasion of Iraq...

I love how things keep changing and stories are put out to fit whatever agenda Washington deems suitable.

I highly recommend an article I just read..by Jude Wanniski.

Here is a few paragraphs...

What about the damning report of Charles Duelfer and his Iraqi Survey Group, which announced last month that Saddam Hussein destroyed all of his weapons of mass destruction and their programmes in 1991?
In his report, he also brought up the oil-for-food programme, which was never part of his mission when he was appointed by Bush to check further into Iraq's WMD intentions.Duelfer, who could not pretend to have found WMD when none existed, clearly used the oil-for-food programme to distract attention from his central finding.
The report gratuitously contained the thesis that if Saddam someday wanted to rebuild his WMD capabilities, he could be using the programme to that end, with the complicity of the French, Russians, Chinese, United Nations and major oil companies.
Logic should tell you, though, that the neo-cons have been behind this hoax from the start, that they never intended to lift the sanctions on Iraq even while knowing back in 1991 that Saddam almost certainly had complied with that first UN resolution. The Iraqis who are in a position to clear all this up and demonstrate that while certain transactions might appear suspicious on the surface, but can be fully explained, are not available for testimony.
The regime is under lock and key and not available to Rosett or Coleman. Volcker presumably has access to them, but is not sharing his findings with the US Congress, which he is not required to do.
His report to the UN will be made public and judgments can then be made. It may be there is no scandal at all. Just another trick of the neo-conservatives to blow away anyone who gets in the way of their plans for a global empire.



You can read the artilce in its entirety here...
http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/561BE24F-B06B-4CC1-B28A-F6845EA8E469.htm

I really have no comment...as the article speaks for itslef.

I am off to begin my day...late it may be.....but its still a good day..a shockingly good day.

Ciao babes!!




Tuesday, December 07, 2004

after work memo........

Here I be after work having a cold one.....no in all actuality its a warm one....all of the glasses were in the dishwasher as Mr. C had just run it.....and so they were a tad warm..wait...they were really warm..and me being such a dumb ass poured my Sammy Adams in and 'volia...instant warm beer.....I am really feeling the German in me today....almost literally...

ok..next item....

Had a good night @ the 'ol J tonight.....had some laughs with Puppy Girl and L Lady.....I think my 5 days off gave me the much needed attitude adjustment I was in dire need of...so all went well there....and...Surprisingly... I was really missed by a few .....so that's always nice....although...there wasn't anyone to flirt with tonight .....which is booooring....but I made it through....

So ........

I need to write an email to Shocker...seems we are having a bit of a communication problem.....seems I was misread.....seems everything has a "seems"..

So I bid all a goodnight......

Keep it on the Ice Y'all!!!......

Ciao

hmmmmmmmmm........

So today is a day that is....... well .........confusing to say the least....found out some info last night that I am not to sure what to do with......I just love this part......and the thing is I am glad I know it but then again I'm not. I wish I could go into further details but as luck would have it I am not at liberty to do so.....so yea......

There goes my Alarm.....I set it for almost noon today.....cos I have been staying up until around 4am......talking and listening and feeling.....and then there are those alarms..... its almost metaphorical......

Today's post is rather a riddle I know, but for those who know me....and maybe those who don't.....they can read between the lines.

Moving on and on .......

I have to work today..........5 days went by rather quickly and of course I got NOTHING accomplished......which is needless to say rather sad. I am actually looking forward to work today....be nice to get out this house and around some actual people other than the grumpy Mr.C. I still have not finished my exam and its not a good thing.....Flex classes are for the birds lemme tell ya.....when I sign up for classes tomorrow I will not be taking anymore...I am an individual who desperately needs DEADLINES!!!

Okay....I still need to figure out where I am going for a weekend this month.....Portland,North,Vegas? Now Vegas is really where I would prefer to be....SUN and FUN...I would love to go to Oregon.....I miss me pals and dancing my ass off with Binks.....we had some fun....cut that rug we did...... ;) Ahhhhhhhhh decisisons... decisions....

Ok then I must sign off......

Keep it Real folks

Ciao






Monday, December 06, 2004

All I need to know about some broken road

so I am in a mood today....and whatever mood I am in can be defined by the music I am listening to....today its Cuntry. :) ... ...."left me in the rain for my brothers sisters cousins uncle and on the way out the door took my 'ol dog blue...ohhhhh boo hoo.." yea...ok then.....

NO Really.....

In all seriousness I am listening to rascall flats and Kenny chesney.....love Kenny...mmm yea...and RF have a really really nice song I was introduced to....about a broken road...sounds a bit odd..but its a nice song..so I say thank you to a certain someone for leading me to this song...

SO .....I must shower and hit the 'ol fake -n-bake today...fading fast here...not a good thing...and its the only source of some kind of sunlight @ the moment...I think that may be one of the factors ...lack of sun...for my insomnia... I have been told its called seasonal disorder or some such shit....

Have you ever noticed that there is always some diagnosis for whatever it is that may be ailing you? Whether it be headache's or a swollen finger or bad breath.....always some big medical terminology to describe and define your current condition....cant be that perhaps you have bad breath..slammed your finger in the drawer and drank entirely to much Vodka the night before?....
I mean seriously...when you watch those commercials about headaches and if you are having recurring ones then take "this" and all will be cured...I don't think so...if I was having recurring headaches for any length of time I do believe I would be finding out why....and stop trying to mask the symptoms....truly....

Ok I am done with today's rants....although I could return with some other rhetoric that I find amusing and worth spewing out....

Ciao babes



Sunday, December 05, 2004

Oh My God.....

Tis the name of a song I am listening to @ the moment....By Pink ........love her...and this song is well ...HOT!!

Ok lets begin....

in the last hour I have talked to 2 of me bestest friends...Patti Anne and Binks...we had some laughs. Seems that Binks and I are in a similar situation...both kind of gotten ourselves involved with people we shall call mysterious.....and sometimes mysterious is to much of a mystery and that is scary/cool/hot/weird/and on and on.... but the advice we decided upon was that I need to bite the bullet and do as Patti says "FUCK IT " dive in and if its worth it.. its worth it..if not... its not my loss........wow........I so love my friends and I am so glad to have them both.....so I shall heed to the advice of my pals and see what's what...and solve my Shocking mystery. As Patti said ......I will live regardless....and always have my friends to stand by me...

Moving On....

I finally SLEPT!!! WOW!!....great to catch some Zzzzzzzzzzzzz's finally...although my brother's friends woke me up....seems one of his pals was a bit perturbed to find out that Berry so and so for some baseball team is on steroids and he wont watch Baseball anymore.....I know all of this cos he was YELLING it in the hallway outside of my room! nice. I am sorry to hear he is so disillusioned with this player guy...but can we not scream it outside of my bedroom door?

Thank you very little...

So X-mas is coming and I am not really in the holiday spirit...for some reason I don't know why....just seems so comercialized to me anymore....buy..buy...buy...spend..spend..spend... $$$$..yea....although I must admit seeing my gifts being opened by my family does make me smile in the nicest way...tis the best part.

Ok then... I have a feeling I will be sharing more on this public diary later on this evening...

Catch ya on the flip side...

Ciao




Random thoughts

well obviously I am still up...still no sleep. I had actually fallen asleep on my couch when my brother banged on the door and woke me up. Seems he didn't want to stay over after the big wedding today...opted to come home and bug me....which is ok....its a good kind of bug.

So Suzilla called me tonight...always good to hear from her...she wants me to come back to Portland and hang out...not to sure if I will or not...I will definitely have to think about it. The thing is though...I went back to see everyone in Aug. and it was ..well....not to good of an experience and I am reluctant to have a repeat of the same ol' shit...but it is nice to be missed and needed......


I just finished and sent off my last essay......YES! Hope I did ok on it....so far I have received 2 B's and 1 A in that class......this will be the final grade. I never did get to the test..I am doing that in the morning as well as writing essays for B. Law. I don't know why I make this shit so hard...the writing part I mean...once I start I do enjoy the process...its just the getting started part that's the drag.

I must also tom. Sign up for my Spring classes........no more FLEX classes.....I need DEADLINES!!!....

Ok then mates.......hope you are all having fun and being funky....Certainly wish I was...


being funky that is...

Ciao 4 Now

Saturday, December 04, 2004

Sandman send me a dream.......



INSOMNIA-Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.

Yup. That would be me........I am a walking zombie......fucking feel like death. Why o why wont the sandman come take me by the hand and lead me to that all wonderful place I like to call sleep? I feel like I am being punished for something I have done...........either in this life or in a past one...I don't know if you all can relate to what it feels like to not be able to sleep...for... lemme me see now....approximately 10 days...but ITS NOT RIGHT!!! Fucked up in a big,big,way man...What's worse is nothing helps me sleep...Ambien,TY-PM's,trazadone...nothing...I know its due to stress...and I really don't know what else to do about that...the stress that is...I mean I workout, eat me vitamins....try and eat well and drink my 8 glasses of H2O a day...I do just about everything one would tell you to do........hell beer doesn't even work...I tried that last night...just to sleep...not having a few cold suds for the fun, but to sleep.......now that's whacked baby..truly...so after 3 beers I finally laid down at 4Am and I was up at 7Am...

cry...yup maybe I can cry myself to sleep....

somethings gotta give..

My bro is getting ready to jet on out of town 4 the night..my cousin is taking the VOWS today so Mr.C is going to go and attend the festivities. I wish my cuz all the best and all the happiness in the world.Congrats!

I must go and try and get some school work done...if I can concentrate long enough to get it done...

Oh boy aint life grand at times?

Ciao babes


Friday, December 03, 2004

Dreamweaver........

I am in an 80's tunes slump today......just did my workout to all the groovin classics.......way fun....so here is a list of things I, Myself, must accomplish today.

1. Shower
2. Drive to Albertson’s and grab some java and kitty food.
3. Hit Starbucks while exiting.
4. Arrive back here at ground zero and write a paper....which is actually done to be truthful ;)
5. Take that ^&%$^%$^$!! Exam in my B.LAW course.
6. Pray for some real sleep.....

(Of course.....somewhere in there I needed to be dressed.....)

Sleep. Its been evading me for about 3 weeks now......like some reluctant lover...wants to be here and then reality hits.... and its the big....SEE YA!!

Really not much fun..

I do plan on updating my thoughts on current events here some time soon.....like tonight most likely.....as I have heard that Bush is sending more troops to Iraq.........not good.....I will elaborate more on that later....

But I do have something pretty funny to add here today.....I read this the other day...

Some crazy Right Wingers tried to get Bert and Ernie (of Sesame Street) pulled from public broadcasting because they were cohabitating. Can u believe this shit.....?

Ummmm..............puppets are made of.... well. Felt, for Christ’s sake. . Puppets whom are not living breathing organisms. and amongst other things don’t have genitals. But.... since they both wore pants and they both lived in the same place its blatantly obvious they are gay-puppets pulling each others strings...right....

What kind of sicko sat there and watched these two citrus-colored puppets singing about the alphabet and thought, " Hey those lil dudes are doing the nasty!"

Isn’t that kind of thinking just a bit deranged?

So I guess by censoring the broadcast as someone is misconstruing what the true message is....will in some way prevent children from becoming homosexuals.....that’s the whole point of the agenda now isn’t it?

I was always under the impression that at birth you were designed as to whom you would and wouldn’t be......I guess I got that wrong......seems that public broadcasting is the real culprit..

Those conniving bastards!!!

So.....all of you scared red state individuals grab your kids away from that Television...wouldn’t want to unduly influence the poor child...better let them go play some blood splattering/murdering SPS game or watch Britney Spears gyrate all over herself...

I don’t have children...if I did......

well at least they would get to watch sesamee street.....

Ciao babes!!!
















Thursday, December 02, 2004

what was that again?

So here is me sitting around doing nothing. I just actually had this quick cat nap...literally. I laid down to pet my Kitty and fell asleep next to her...but her animal dreams (twitching,jerking) woke me up. I have always wondered what cats dream about....chasing dem mices and rolling in cat nip I spose...friendly happy dreams...... unlike the ones I have had in the past....

Moving On...

So this is laughs....Seriously. For the first time I AM NOT the one who woke up goin What the the fuck did I say to my(almost) gf/bf last night? Yes! I just got off the phone with Shocker who is completely ....well...shocked about what came out of Shockers drunken mouth last night. I had some really interesting voicmails this morning.....I should have saved them......dammit....why didnt I? Anyway.......tis ok there Shocker......no biggie.....heheheh......better you than me though babe !

mmmmmmm


Ok.... I must run to the U.S Postal Office to send off a parcel for school and come back and try to take an exam.....I am so tired today though.......the insomnia is finally getting the best of me now.....I should really just sleep....my body and mind are telling me to SLEEP....but when I have all this shit to do......no time for the much needed Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's

ok folks have a bitchin Thursday.....


On side note

I am a lil pissed off here....I just noticed that the post I put up last night has somehow, mysteriousley disapeared..now WTF? Where in the HELL did it go?
Dammit man!
I will have to re-do it now........

I liked that post.....

Ah hell



ciao 4 Now

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Snow baby

Woke up and what do you know? Snow outside....Its a first for me in awhile. Now mind you I grew up in the Northwest and had become accustomed to the snowy, cold winters....but in the past few years in all my travels I haven't been living in areas where it snowed......so I must admit its quite nice. Its refreshing in some strange,cool way.

Today is me Friday and then I will have the next 5 days off from the J, veddy nice.....like a mini holiday.....I am in dire need of one.

I need to pay respects here to my bestest friend.......Patty Anne......we have been friends for the pat 5 years...best friends.....we worked together and had a blast @ the old J....I miss her dearly and am so grateful to have her as my friend. She just called me and made me feel so much better about everything....she is a great shoulder to have in times when I need that...which, my friends..... as of late.. is a lot......anyway I just wanted the world to know that this person is absolutely Fabulous! Everyone should be lucky enough to have a Patty Anne in their life.

Well with that I will sign off but before I go I would like to recommend a song ...we shall call it Coleyzzz song for the day. Train's "Get To Me" off their CD "My Private Nation".. tis a bitchin tune and makes me smile......as I can apply it to so many people in my life.....but today its especially for a certain someone...

Be good y'all!

Ciao 4 Now


Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Tell me a story....

I am having a fabulous day...and it is the best feeling. Don’t you just love it when you wake up and the first thing you feel is just plainly…amazing, which is accompanied by this big smile on your mug? It is truly a wonderful feeling. So.... I just checked on my grades and dammit man! I am so fucking smart! All A's baby! I feel like Irena Cara.... It is "what a feeling day" in a big, big way.

I have to say in all honesty that just about everything in my life is going pretty well. I had a good discussion with my boss yesterday and all is well at the big J.... which is good as I need the $$. School obviously is fabulous and then of course there is always this friend I have. Shocker...All I have to say is thank you...you make me smile. :)

Moving on...


I see that just about everyone in W's cabinet is resigning...how very interesting. Today Tom Ridge gave his resignation...he is the Homeland Security Director. Among the rest of the cast that are exiting stage left were/are Attorney General John Ashcroft, Secretary of State Colin Powell, Commerce Secretary Don Evans, Education Secretary Rod Paige, Agriculture Secretary Ann Veneman and Energy Secretary Spencer Abraham.Hope the future is brighter with the new replacements.


I must be off...bills are piling up, work is calling and the caffeine junkie in me is having a screaming fit...


Ciao 4 now

Sunday, November 28, 2004

B.Law, West.Civ & Lust

Okay.... I am ready to start me day I think. I just finished my hour-long workout and I am now having a quick cuppa Joe before I jump in the rain closet. I always feel guilty when I have a cuppa Joe after a workout as I should be re-hydrating my poor bod instead of pouring caffeine and sugar into it...ah well...cant be perfect al the time.

After the shower I must do 2 B.Law Assignments.... I have to write briefs on two cases and then I must write approximately 4 pages for me West. Civ. class.... should be a nice 6 to 8 hour day of writing. It should be good for me as it will keep my mind off of this person I shall call "Shocker".

Shocker is pretty good at keeping me distracted when I should be getting something constructive done such as my assignments or cleaning the windows or actually anything that I haven’t been getting too these past few days. It’s all-good though ;)

To be honest I need a few shocking distractions in my life…. from time to time…distractions can be a damn good thing…a damn good thing….

Moving on…

I haven’t had a chance to keep up with the current events in the big WORLD as of late as I have been to busy in my own lil world. I shall try to get updated this week so I can write something a bit more newsworthy here instead of my humdrum University life and my shocking distractions.

I bid a good Sunday to all...

Peace, Love Dove man...

Ciao

Friday, November 26, 2004

Boxing Day in a Turkey way....sorta

Well it’s the day after the big feast and stores/Malls across the USofA are just plum filled with shoppin fools. Malls opened at 1AM this year I am told.... and the shoppers were a tramplin over one another in a human stampedish fashion. I have never understood the huge appeal of shopping the day after.... I spose its all of the so called sales...but if everyone would just wait until the day after X-Mas to do their shopping as I do…. then they wouldn’t have to submit themselves to a zillion other impatient frustrated shoppers trying to gain access to the last copy of Jessie Simpson’s latest Holiday Happiness CD.

Moving on......

My T-Day was as messed up as I accepted it to be...my family were...... as usual... very happy with one another and oh so vibrant with the holiday cheer.......


On a lighter note…….. my Turkey turned out terrific( even though my family had the patience of a shark in a feeding frenzy, it was an hour late) and the rest of da trimmings were fabulous as well.

Afterwards, my brother and I went out with his GF and that’s when the real HAPPY T-day began! Thank You Mr. C....I LOVE YA!!

I have 2 weeks of school left and a ton of work to do and I am looking forward to getting it all accomplished this weekend. I am so in a need of a break from school.........I hope to take a small vacation in Dec. for a few days of rest in relaxation. I may go up north to be with some friends......or a friend....we shall see....

Hope everyone enjoyed the yearly feast.....and are nurturing their much-deserved hangovers today..

Ciao 4 Now

Monday, November 22, 2004

The week of the Bird

Well It has finally arrived.... the week of Thanksgiving. This Thursday we can all sit down and reminisce about the year, eat bird, and think of all the things we have to be thankful for. I for one, have many things to be thankful for.... and on Turkey Day I shall be more than happy to share them with everyone. I just thought I would give everyone a heads up so that everyone can prepare their own list for feast day.

Moving on...

I am actually getting a bunch accomplished as far as school and such...Received an A on my last essay and my 2 tests for B.Law have yet to be graded but I have a feeling I did fabulous!! I have one more exam in that class and 5 assignments to complete by the 10th of Dec. I have no worries about getting this done. My West Civ. class is a different matter...well not really...I took a bunch of history courses during my stay In Portland so this class in all actualality, is just a refresher course. The main diff is I have to write these little essays on certain happenings throughout history, which is okay and then again...can SUCK ASS....

ok then....I must be off to the Jobola... for my daily dose of fun and fatigue.... That’s me job...or for that matter me life…

Hope ya all have a great week and keep your waistlines in check, as the Bird will definitely take care of that for ya!!!


Ciao 4 Now

IRAQ
American Deaths:


Since war began (3/19/03):
Total-1228
In Combat-962

American Wounded
Official -8956
Estimated -15000-17000

The wounded numbers above reflect the official count as released by the U.S. military. However, there are other estimates that 12,000 soldiers have been treated for illness, non-combat injury and combat injury since March of 2002.

War may have killed 10,000 civilians, researchers say

Latest Fatality November 22nd, 2004

http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/


Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Hump day

Its Wednesday....hump day.....why in the hell they call it hump day I will never know......wait a minute....never is a strong word...when one feels that they are uncertain of what something means the easiest thing in the world to do is GOOGLE IT! Now I have always know what it meant...but I wasn't certain of why...So I did a lil research and this is what I found out


Hump Day-Wednesday, the middle of the work week, over the hump ....E.G.
Brian says if you can get through hump day, the rest of the week is easy.
The why part ...why in the world people call it Hump day....well......
I found out that one of the reasons that Wed. is call called hump day is due to the W having a hump in it??? ok....

I like to think its called hump day as everyone can use a good humping in the middle of the week, or all week for that matter....

Moving on...

I am now officially stressed out due to my procrastination regarding school.....I can and will complete all of my assignments in the next 3 weeks, but its going to be a bitch....why I always have to make things harder than they need to be I will never know....

I am happy to hear that Ashcroft has resigned, but not so happy to hear about Powell....and of his replacement....I am quite sure she has qualifications up the wazoo, but no diplomatic experience, not a good thing I am afraid....but time will tell...it always does.



IRAQ
American Deaths:

Since war began (3/19/03):
Total-1163
In Combat-903

American Wounded

Official -8484
Estimated -15000-17000

The wounded numbers above reflect the official count as released by the U.S. military. However, there are other estimates that 12,000 soldiers have been treated for illness, non-combat injury and combat injury since March of 2002.

War may have killed 10,000 civilians, researchers say



Latest Fatality November 16th, 2004
http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/

Friday, November 12, 2004

TGIFor TGIS

Finally another week finished!!

Time to pop in a DVD, relax, and crash. I have a ton of homework 2 do this weekend so I will use tonight to relax and unwind. (Friday,11ish or so)

So I never got around to posting last night....I guess I got a lil to relaxed!!! Anyway.....I really haven't got to much accomplished today other than cleaning my house and paying off the bills......had to call a few friends back home and give them the business....it was a must!!

I've decided to take the weekend off from politics...need a rest.....let my brain rest and get re-settled.....need to get a more objective point of view I feel.......

So On that note I will bid a good weekend to everyone and I shall post again ASAP, most likely tomorrow.


American Deaths

Since war began (3/19/03):
Total-1163
In Combat-903




American Wounded

Official 8484
estimated 15000-17000




The wounded numbers above reflect the official count as released by the U.S. military. However, there are other estimates that 12,000 soldiers have been treated for illness, non-combat injury and combat injury since March of 2002.

War may have killed 10,000 civilians, researchers say









Thursday, November 11, 2004

My say on the matter.....

Okay folks I am sitting in my PJ’s wasitn the day away. So far I have accomplished well….nadda.

I have drank 3 cups of coffee, ate some soup (tomato), and ate 3 peanut butter cookies…all while watching Fargo…which is an excellent film, although the depiction of North Dakotans is, I am sure a bit far fetched, but hell it could be right on the money. I seriously hope not. No one geographic region can be made up completely, of stupid people. Can it?

Moving on….

I come into my room to check my email and I received an email from the organization http://www.moveon.org/ asking me to please participate in getting to the bottom of what really happened during this year’s election.

I have pasted it here…for all those who are interested in the happenings of that day…and of hopefully getting an investigation going.


Subject: Tell Congress to Investigate the 2004 Election
Dear friend,
Questions are swirling around whether the election was conducted honestly or not. We need to know -- was it or wasn't it?
If people were wrongly prevented from voting, or if legitimate votes were mis-counted or not counted at all, we need to know so the wrongdoers can be held accountable, and to help prevent this from happening again.
Members of Congress are demanding an investigation to answer this question. Join me in supporting their call, at:
http://www.moveon.org/investigatethevote/
Thanks.

After reading this I stared doing some surfing…. and I have to say that everyday I read or find something else that is so disturbing to me…. I actually become speechless…. at a total loss for words...as to how to describe my feelings for this Government.


People are still going on and on about the apparent Morals of the USA and its LEADER. I find this to be so ludicrous, I mean if you were to listen to the Republicans , if you protest this war, or the President, or if you believe in fair and basic rights and liberty for everyone, well then you are ANTI-AMERICAN. PERIOD

Well ok….

Here’s your Moral Prez…

http://static.vidvote.com/movies/bushuncensored.mov

If Kerry were to do this, can you just imagine what FOX news would do to him or for that matter what the evangelicals would say?

Rather hypocritical don’t you think?






I could go on and on about how I feel or think with regards to the current administration and its re-elected MANDATED leader… but instead, I was lucky enough to find an article that represents my view(s).




GOD HELP AMERICA, THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN (or have they? -ed.)



From the Daily Mirror- UK

THEY say that in life you get what you deserve. Well, today America has deservedly got a lawless cowboy to lead them further into carnage and isolation and the unreserved contempt of most of the rest of the world. This once-great country has pulled up its drawbridge for another four years and stuck a finger up to the billions of us forced to share the same air. And in doing so, it has shown itself to be a fearful, backward-looking and very small nation. This should have been the day when Americans finally answered their critics by raising their eyes from their own sidewalks and looking outward towards the rest of humanity.
And for a few hours early yesterday, when the exit polls predicted a John Kerry victory, it seemed they had. But then the horrible, inevitable truth hit home. They had somehow managed to re-elect the most devious, blinkered and reckless leader ever put before them. The Yellow Rogue of Texas. A self-serving, dim-witted, draft-dodging, gung-ho little rich boy, whose idea of courage is to yell: "I feel good," as he unleashes an awesome fury which slaughters 100,000 innocents for no other reason than greed and vanity.
A dangerous chameleon, his charming exterior provides cover for a power-crazed clique of Doctor Strangeloves whose goal is to increase America's grip on the world's economies and natural resources. And in foolishly backing him, Americans have given the go-ahead for more unilateral pre-emptive strikes, more world instability and most probably another 9/11. Why else do you think bin Laden was so happy to scare them to the polls, then made no attempt to scupper the outcome?
There's only one headline in town today, folks: "It Was Osama Wot Won It." And soon he'll expect pay-back. Well, he can't allow Bush to have his folks whoopin' and a-hollerin' without his own getting a share of the fun, can he?



Heck, guys, I hope you're feeling proud today.


To the tens of millions who voted for John Kerry, my commiserations. To the overwhelming majority of you who didn't, I simply ask: Have you learnt nothing? Do you despise your own image that much? Do you care so little about the world beyond your shores? How could you do this to yourselves? How appalling must one man's record at home and abroad be for you to reject him? Kerry wasn't the best presidential candidate the Democrats have ever fielded (and he did deserve a kicking for that "reporting for doo-dee" moment), but at least he understood the complexity of the world outside America, and domestic disgraces like the 45 million of his fellow citizens without health cover.

He would have done something to make that country fairer and re-connected it with the wider world. Instead America chose a man without morals or vision. An economic incompetent who inherited a $2billion surplus from Clinton, gave it in tax cuts to the rich and turned the US into the world's largest debtor nation. A man who sneers at the rights of other nations. Who has withdrawn from international treaties on the environment and chemical weapons. A man who flattens sovereign states then hands the rebuilding contracts to his own billionaire party backers. A man who promotes trade protectionism and backs an Israeli government, which continually flouts UN resolutions. ho invented a war on terror, and thus as author of it, believed he had the right to set the rules of engagement. America has chosen a menacingly immature buffoon who likened the pursuit of the 9/11 terrorists to a Wild West, Wanted Dead or Alive man-hunt and, during the Afghanistan war, kept a baseball scorecard in his drawer, notching up hits when news came through of enemy deaths.

A RADICAL Christian fanatic who decided the world was made up of the forces of good and evil, w Which translates to telling his troops to do what the hell they want to the bad guys. As he has at Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib and countless towns across Iraq. You have to feel sorry for the millions of Yanks in the big cities like New York, Washington, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles and San Francisco who voted to kick him out. These are the sophisticated side of the electorate who recognize a gibbon when they see one. As for the ones who put him in, across the Bible Belt and the South, us outsiders can only feel pity. Were I a Kerry voter, though, I'd feel deep anger, not only at them returning Bush to power, but for allowing the outside world to lump us all into the same category of moronic Muppets.

The self-righteous, gun-totin', military lovin', sister marryin', abortion-hatin', gay-loathin', foreigner-despisin', non-passport ownin' red-necks, who believe God gave America the biggest dick in the world so it could urinate on the rest of us and make their land "free and strong". You probably won't be surprised to learn of would-be Oklahoma Republican Senator Tom Coburn who, on Tuesday, promised to ban abortion and execute any doctors who carried them out. He also told voters that lesbianism is so rampant in the state's schools that girls were being sent to toilets on their own. Not that any principal could be found to back him up. These are the people who hijack the word patriot and liken compassion to child-molesting. And they are unknowingly bin Laden's chief recruiting officers. Al-Qaeda's existence is fuelled by the outpourings of America's Christian right. Bush is its commander-in-chief. And he and bin Laden need each other to survive.

Both need to play Lex Luther to each others' Superman with their own fanatical people. Maybe that's why the mightiest military machine ever assembled has failed to catch the world's most wanted man. Or is the reason simply that America is incompetent? That behind the bluff they are frightened and clueless, which is why they've stayed with the devil they know. VISITORS from another planet watching this election would surely not credit the amateurism. The queues for hours to register a tick; the 17,000 lawyers needed to ensure there was no cheating; the $1.2bn wasted by parties trying to discredit the enemy; the allegations of fraud, intimidation and dirty tricks; the exit polls which were so wildly inaccurate; an Electoral College voting system that makes the Eurovision Song Contest look like a beacon of democracy and efficiency; and the delays and the legal wrangles in announcing the victor.

Yet America would have us believe theirs is the finest democracy in the world. Well, that fine democracy has got the man it deserved. George W Bush. But is America safer today without Kerry in charge? A man who overnight would have given back to the UN some credibility and authority. Who would have worked out the best way to undo the Iraq mess without fear of losing face. Instead, the questions facing America today are - how many more thousands of their sons will die as Iraq descends into a new Vietnam? And how many more Vietnams are on the horizon now they have given Bush the mandate to go after Iran, Syria, North Korea or Cuba...? Today is a sad day for the world, but it's even sadder for the millions of intelligent Americans embarrassed by a gung-ho leader and backed by a banal electorate, half of whom still believe Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11.

Yanks had the chance to show the world a better way this week, instead they made a thuggish cowboy ride off into the sunset bathed in glory. And in doing so it brought Armageddon that little bit closer and re-christened their beloved nation The Home Of The Knave and the Land Of The Freak.

God Help America.






I want to emphasize that I am dead set against this war in Iraq.Against anyone dictating to me what my reproductive rights should and shouldn’t be, against anyone trampling on an individuals right to love and marry the one they love…


I am dead set against the killing of innocent children in the name the USA…




US-led forces reach central Falluja By: Reuters in Falluja, Iraq November 9, 2004 15:32 GMT


US and Iraqi forces have punched to the heart of Falluja, consolidating positions in Iraq’s most rebellious city after a day of fierce combat. While bursts of gunfire could still be heard in some districts, residents said the sound of heavy bombardments and explosions eased off around 4:15 p.m. on Tuesday (1:15 p.m. British time) after a night and day of intense fighting between US-led forces and rebels.
An American soldier wounded in Falluja said he had seen two of his colleagues killed.
”A buddy of mine and another soldier were killed and I have seen about 50 other wounded (US) soldiers since the fighting began,” he told Reuters while awaiting medical evacuation. He declined to give his name.

A Reuters reporter saw about five wounded soldiers being flown out by helicopter and a US military ambulance driver also said he had witnessed many casualties.
Among the Iraqis killed was a nine-year-old boy, severely injured by shrapnel in the abdomen when his home was bombarded by US jets overnight. His parents were unable to get him to hospital and he died hours later of blood loss, they said.




US, IRAQI CASUALTIES
The military has given no figures for US casualties since the assault on Falluja began on Monday evening.
There has also been no word on the total number of civilian casualties. Falluja residents said a US air strike hit a clinic in a central district, killing some medical staff and patients.
A Marines tank company commander -- part of a US-led force at least 10,000 strong -- said earlier guerrillas were battling hard in Falluja’s northern Jolan district.
”They are putting up a strong fight and I saw many of them on the street I was on,” Captain Robert Bodisch told Reuters.
Many families fled the city of 300,000 to escape air raids before the offensive. The US military said about 150,000 residents had taken refuge outside Falluja.
Residents said they had no power and used kerosene lamps at night. They kept to ground floors for safety. Telephones were erratic. Even food shops had been closed for six days.
Iraqi troops brought nine handcuffed prisoners to a railway station on the northern edge of the Jolan area where US and Iraqi forces are based. They said two of them were Egyptians and one was Syrian. The rest were Iraqis.
The interim Iraqi government and its US backers say foreign Muslim militants led by al Qaeda ally Abu Musab al-Zarqawi are holed up in Falluja along with Iraqi rebels.
The government says two Moroccans were among 38 people detained when Iraqi and US troops seized Falluja’s main hospital in the early hours of Monday.
POLICE STATION RAIDS
Rebels staged bloody attacks on police stations in Baquba, northeast of Baghdad, police said. A mortuary official said 45 people died in attacks and clashes in and around the city, although other officials played down that figure.
Zarqawi’s group claimed responsibility for the attacks.
”Al Qaeda lions launched an attack in Baquba, where mujahideen were able to raid three police stations and kill more than 45 policemen,” the Al Qaeda Organisation of Holy War in Iraq said in a statement posted on Islamist Web sites.
Around 50 gunmen attacked a police station in southwest Baghdad, leading to fierce street battles with police that were continuing at sundown on Tuesday. A police source said he feared there were casualties but had no details.
A suspected car bomb outside an Iraqi National Guard base near Kirkuk in the north killed three people and wounded two.
Sami al-Jumaili, a doctor at the main Falluja hospital who escaped arrest when it was taken, said the city was running out of medical supplies and only a few clinics remained open.
”There is not a single surgeon in Falluja. We had one ambulance hit by US fire and a doctor wounded. There are scores of injured civilians in their homes whom we can’t move.
”A 13-year-old child just died in my hands,” he said by telephone from a house where he had gone to help the wounded.
The government sees Falluja and its sister city of Ramadi as rebel havens that must be retaken before January elections.
Allawi urged the gunmen in Falluja to lay down their weapons and let Iraqi forces enter the city peacefully to spare it from further attacks, his spokesman Thaer al-Naqib told reporters at a US base near Falluja.
”The political solution is possible even if military operations are ongoing,” Naqib said.
The authorities have appointed a temporary military governor for Falluja, Major General Abdul Qader Mohan, the commander of the military operations in Falluja, he added.


I know that in war horrible things happen, but in the past we were at war for reasons other than blatant lies and profits.

I feel that the more people are shown/told what really is taking place over there and in this country, the better. Regardless of their political views…..Americans have the right to know what the government doesn’t want you to know…..


That does not make you or me UNAMERICAN…just a well informed AMERICAN!





http://www.sharedvoice.org/unamerican/





I will post something every week on my Blog about the war and the casualties over there, both civilian and military. I will not use the major media as my source…rather overseas media and journalists who are not saying or reporting what the government wants the American people to read or hear.


Now….I have had me say for today….time to play…

Ciao 4 Now




Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Surreal

I just watched the last episode of the Surreal Life on VH1...
I know I said that I really don’t indulge in real TV, but this season or rather house guests were to insane NOT to watch!
I Loved Brigitte Nelson. That woman is LAUGHS!!!


The whole show was rather amusing to watch with the exception of the Old Kid On the Block and American Idol's Ryan...didnt particularly care for those 2.....




ANYWAY.... my fave roomy would have to be Flave.... that guy is to twisted for color TV...:)

Back to my own surreal life....

I have about 15 assignments to do in the next 4 weeks...procrastination has its drawbacks..obviousley..

I best sing off as I have to get back to the grind...OH BOY!!

or rahter..FLAVA FLAVEE!!!!


ciao 4 now!





Tuesday, November 09, 2004

My Monday

O.k. I just got off of work, and it was ok, had a few laughs and ate allot of cookies, not a bad night. :)

I wanted to spew my opinion on the hot issue of the week. …MORALS.
Seems that the majority of people voted not with their hearts or heads but with their Morals…..

So... My question: What "moral" issues are the Republicans/Christians/ANYONE talking about? I honestly scratch my head in bewilderment about this issue. Enlighten me, please! Is it just gay marriage and abortion?

I know abortion is a hot topic and I respect anyone's philosophical repudiation of it. But killing innocent people in a "preemptive" war is more immoral to me than abortion, which just means removing a few undifferentiated cells from a woman's uterus. If you're against abortion, don't have one!

Gay marriage-- what the fuck does that have to do with morality? Gay marriage doesn’t hurt ANYONE , never has and never will.

To me the real moral issues have to deal with the real everyday issues. Not protecting wildlife, destroying the environment, gutting the rainforests, these things are terrible and shameful and immoral to me. Leaving the mentally ill to die hungry on the street is shameful and immoral.

Everyday Citizens who cannot afford Medical Insurance or pay for their prescriptions, that’s a little immoral to me. Keeping the minimum wage so low that people who work 80 hours a week can't afford their rent is immoral.

Morals?

For one thing, how and why did the Moral issue become a political issue?

Is it a political ploy?...to make people feel guilty about how they feel and what they do in their personal lives...

Perhaps?


Now I feel a bit better...

Told ya I would have somethin interesting 2 say...

Well I at least think it was.... interesting


and anyone who knows me knows

ITS ALL ABOUT ME BABY!!!:)

Ciao 4 now


Slight delay...........

It’s been damn near a week since my last post??? hmmmmmmm

Well lets see what has happened since my last post? I took 2 exams in B.Law, received my final grade in my MIS class (b+ mind you :))...ummmmmm Watched the West Wing, which I enjoyed, and also Angels in America. (I have to watch anything with Meryl Streep and Pacino, it’s a must)

Lets see what else??

I called into work yesterday just for the helluva it. Sometimes one needs a day just to lounge and trust me I did lounge the day away yesterday.

So today I will go to work, listen to my new CD (Train's my own private nation, I love Train)...I know, I know, its an old release, I am a bit behind, but in the end I usually catch up... and lemme see I..... will go and get an eggnog Late' from Starbucks.....mmmmm tis da season baby! Tis da season to gain a few pounds :)

So....ok....When I have something more interesting to say.....well I will say it......

Don’t hold your folks breath


Ciao 4 Now


Thursday, November 04, 2004

Why I love the WEB

Well another day...gone, but not a total loss. I actually did get a few things accomplished, but nothing that relates to school. Just cannot seem to get into the groove of things when it comes to my assignments and reading...no ambition, no drive, no VAVOOM.....

Anyway...

I received a few DVD's from Netflix...(which I totally recommend for anyone who loves movies or documentaries or ANYTHING that is on DVD) anyway I received the first season of the West Wing and the 2003 version of Texas chainsaw massacre (A Halloween dealy).Well I pop in the TCS, and I start to get a bit interested in the main character "Leather Face". So plop down in front of me PC and Google TCS. Well... it turns out that this character was based on a true-life serial killer by the name of Ed Gein. Well anyway...anyone who has seen TCS knows that the directors and producers claim that the film is based on actual true events, and well I found out today that is not entirely true. Despite being heavily touted as "inspired by a true story," both Tobe Hooper's original 1974 film and the 2003 Marcus Nispel remake are only lightly based on the real-life murderer Ed Gein, who is suspected to have taken several victims between 1954 and 1957. Perhaps the most recognizable similarity is the film's house, whose gruesome content was similar to that found in Ed Gein's home in 1957. So that is that.... kinda.

I start thinking about the title "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and it gets me to thinking lol ...about George W Bush and his Massacre on the presidency(MOP for short)
I start a surfin about his lies, manipulations and deceit..etc....and well I came across what I think is a great site for anyone interested in reading the "other" news when it comes to W.

Its called Tvnewslies.org...and if one is interested in what they have to say....here ya go.

http://www.tvnewslies.org/index.html

I have to say that I am very grateful to live in the Information Age which has given us the tools that when one wants...one can gain access to so much information with so much ease... just a click of the mouse......and 'voila.. Information Paradise!
Now I know that not all of the sites on the web are credible, but hey we live in a world where credibility and reliability has become obsolete. BUT, with a little perseverance and research one can find useful info.

Like tonight when I found out the lil tid bits about the TCM... that the story isn't ...in all actuality what it is all cracked up to be...



And in the process came across a nifty new site, that also sheds some light on 'ol W ... .

Seems he isn't all he is cracked up to be either...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Love the web...I do ...I do.


Ciao 4 Now


BTW

TCM 2004 was a terrible fim.....1974 was mucho better...far be it from me to be able to say what is and isnt good regarding horror fims, they truly are not my forte', but all the same it was horrible.

I shoulda stuck with the West Wing......cant go wrong with a hollywood White House.

:)



Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Dear John and Joanne

In the past I have said that people need to get along and that I try and have an unbiased view but in light of last nights election I just had to send a personal memo to the 51% of US Citizens who Voted or the so-called majority in this country...

Dear Stupid,

Well you've made your beds and not only will you have to sleep in them but also the 49% of us who had the insight not to vote for another 4 years of hell. So in light of that I wanted you know exactly what you have voted for.


You have voted for not being able to afford healthcare and if you already lost it, a lower chance of getting it back. The elderly and the young will suffer the most...and as a result they will die. Hope that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Killing more innocent people abroad. 100,000 last term wasn't enough. You want to burn more women and children to death in their homes, slaughter innocent people with errant weapons fire and allow thousands more for years to come home and die from complications due to depleted uranium weapons and being cut off from food and medical supplies.


More and more American soldiers will be killed, over 1000 and counting now. Not to mention the thousands of wounded you never read or hear about.


Broadening of income disparity. The rich are going to get richer, a lot richer, which results in the middle class becoming the poor and the poor well...they are pretty much screwed.Increase in crime. When the amount of poor people increases, so does crime. So when your economically sound SUV gets stolen or your house gets robbed, you can think about why and what you may have done differently in order to stop it.


There will be more social, gender and racial bias. Women’s rights a re being thrown right out the window. I can’t even begin to fathom how or why we are going back in time regarding the rights of women in this country. …. it blows my fucking mind.

Minorities will be left behind again and if you happen to be or have homosexual children like Dick Cheney’s daughter, well, you won't be able to get married, adopt children or even have simple things like equal access to health care.

God forbid you're a Muslim or have a different form of faith in this country. God blessed America right? But only America’s god. If you don’t happen to agree with being an evangel gisper or some other form of Christianity ….well tough titties.


Environment. The environmental policies of this admistitration speak for itself.




Terrorism. Well now…since you have basically given Bush the go ahead to do whatever the fuck he wants they will hate us even more and if you think he will protect us look @ 9/11. Bush allowed the largest attack in the United States since Pearl Harbor and you think he can protect you? Are you fucking retarded?


Give yourselves a big pat on the back! WAY TO GO!!

Fucking unbelievable….





Monday, November 01, 2004

Nov.1st

Nov.1st
Well Halloween is now officially over. I had a total of 5 trick or treaters. A unicorn, a turtle, a cat, Scary movie killer dude and someone with a bunch of red paint on his melon...So now I have all this candy.... and I am trying to get back in shape.... oh tis da season!!

I am off to bed...have allot to do this week.... and I am excited as hell about Tuesday!Nail biting time I think....Also...I wanted to post this on my last post but 4got...It’s a newsie about a demonstration out side of a RCD.

It proves my theory about the intensity of anger out there during this election campaign...It will be nice when it is finally over...perhaps people may become a tiny bit decent to one another again.

Ciao 4 now

From Salon. Thought it was relevant...

Oct. 30, 2004 COLUMBUS, Ohio --

Lisa Dupler, a 33-year-old from Columbus, held up a rainbow-striped John Kerry sign outside the Nationwide Arena on Friday, as Republicans streamed out after being rallied by George W. Bush and Arnold Schwarzenegger. A thickset woman with very short, dark hair, Dupler was silent and barely flinched as people passing her hissed "faggot" into her ear. An old lady looked at her and said, "You people are sick!" A kid who looked to be about 10 or 11 affected a limp wrist and mincing voice and said, "Oh, I'm gay." Rather than restraining him, his squat mother guffawed and then turned to Dupler and sneered, "Why don't you go marry your girlfriend?" Encouraged, her son yelled, "We don't want faggots in the White House!" The throngs of Republicans were pumped after seeing the president and the action hero. But there was an angry edge to their elation.

They shrieked at the dozen or so protesters standing on the concrete plaza outside the auditorium. "Kerry's a terrorist!" yelled a stocky kid in baggy jeans and braces. "Communists for Kerry! Go back to Russia," someone else screamed. Many of them took up the chant "Kerry s*cks"; old women and teenage boys shouting with equal ferocity. With four days to go until the election, you can feel the temperature rising in Ohio. Among Democrats, it's easy to indulge the fantasy that all the rage in this election is directed one way -- at Bush. Thousands of progressives are campaigning here, going door-to-door to get out the vote, and training to watch the polls, holding concerts and rallies and anything else they can think of to beat Bush. Hundreds are from other parts of the country but most are locals. Jess Good, Ohio director of the massive get-out-the-vote group America Coming Together, says that 93 percent of the 12,000 volunteers expected to work on Election Day are from Ohio itself.

Clearly, something exciting and unprecedented is happening. After reviewing Democratic and progressive field operations in Ohio and Florida, L.A. Weekly columnist Harold Meyerson wrote, "I have found something I've never before seen in my 36 or so years as a progressive activist and later as a journalist: an effective, fully functioning American left." Friday's Republican rally, though, was evidence that many on the right are as fervid and galvanized as their opponents. Pollster John Zogby has called this the "apocalypse election" because people on both sides believe the world will end if their candidate loses.He's right -- the Republicans I met at the Ohio rally spoke in language almost identical to that of the most addled Bush-hater, although often several steps further removed from reality. Dave, a 54-year-old electronic technician, said that if Kerry wins, "I'm going to leave the country and go to a Third World nation and start a ranch." His wife, Jenny, laughed and accused him of hyperbole, but he insisted he's been studying Portuguese, the language of Brazil, "so we'll have an escape route." Sitting near him was Greg Swalley, a blond electrical contractor. "I think Kerry is the anti-Christ," he said, only half-joking. "He scares me."

We were sitting outside the Nationwide Arena watching the adoring crowd on a massive elevated monitor. Swalley and the others had tickets and I had press credentials. But by the time we arrived, 40 minutes before the rally was scheduled to start, security had closed off the area and no more people were being let in. So dozens waited outside and watched their heroes on the screen. The monitor showed a huge W. and then the words, "Let's Roll." When Bush, his wife and Schwarzenegger appeared, wild cheering echoed outside the building. Inside, Schwarzenegger tried to strike a sunny, moderate note. "There is optimism in Ohio," he said. "There is optimism all over the country because President Bush is leading the way. He's fighting for all of us. "President Bush knows you can't reason with people that are blinded by hate," Schwarzenegger said. "But let me tell you something: Their hate is no match for our decency, their hate is no match for America's decency, and it is no match for the leadership and the resolve of George W. Bush." Outside, though, I didn't see much American decency among Bush's followers.

The conservative movement has long been fueled by anger and resentment.But here the negativity was at an especially high pitch, perhaps because some were starting to realize they might lose -- and that seemed like the end of the world. Looking at the small knot of protesters, many of whom were chanting, "Four more days," 22-year-old Nick Karnes, wearing a knit ski cap and baggy jeans, yelled, "Shut up!" Then he turned to his friend and said, "We can take 'em." "I'm definitely gonna vote for him," Karnes said of Bush. "Because he's been the president for four years and nothing bad has happened since Sept. 11. He's kept me alive for four years." If Kerry becomes president, he said, "We'll be dead within a year." Karnes told me that most of his friends are voting for Bush, too, but a couple are voting for Kerry. "I'm not speaking to them right now," he said.

When the crowd came pouring out of the arena, the vitriol only increased. One clean-cut man, holding his son by the hand, yelled "coward!" at one of the protesters. I asked him what made him say that, and he said, "Because he's demeaning our troops by saying they are fighting a lost cause." "Jesus! Jesus!" screamed 26-year-old Joe Robles, pointing to his Bush-Cheney sign. "The man stands for God," he said of the president. "We want somebody who stands for Jesus. I always vote my Christian morals." Robles, a student at Ohio State University, told me that Kerry's daughter is a lesbian. I said I thought that was Dick Cheney's daughter, but he shook his head no with confidence.Robles said that Kerry would make it illegal for preachers to say that marriage should only be between a man and a woman. In California, he informed me gravely, such preaching has been deemed a hate crime, and pastors who indulge in it are fined $25,000, which "goes to lesbians." A few of the protesters, meanwhile, were red-faced from yelling at their antagonists about homophobia and budget deficits and a senseless war. Republicans were incensed.

A blond woman dragged her young redheaded son toward the protesters, pointed to them, and said, "These are the Democrats," speaking as if she was revealing an awful reality that he was finally old enough to face. As she walked away with a group of other mothers and children, she was so angry she could barely speak. A friend consoled her by promising her that Bush would win. After all, she pointed out, "Look how many more Bush supporters there were on the street!" That calmed the angry blond woman down a little. But she was still mad. "We," she said, stammering and gesturing contemptuously at the demonstrators, "we are the way it should be!"Let's face it folks there is plenty of blame this time on both sides of the isle. The left has been perfecting this for years, now the right is beginning to follow the same example and you don't like it. I don't blame you. We on the right have endured this stuff for a long time and now you know how we feel..