Chills

Came home last night...............after work, which is (work) exactly what I needed, well...I pretty much kept to myself.................but I was glad to be there...........anyway half way through my shift I started getting abdomen pains...

Now I knew what it was as I have had one... only one other time in mylfe...when I was 11...so I come home...came home..........past present tense...I hate grammar and I should be a pro as I did teach English in Hong Kong for FUCKS sake...moving on...........came home and TRIED to drink a few beers.........every time I went to use the ladies, well it was not NICE............and it proceeded to get worse very quickly...........

Luckily (no luckily inst a word I would use, cos I don’t think/feel Mr.C's bouts of sickness are any kind of luck) He has some pretty strong anti-biotic left over from his own UTI's...which he gets well.........all the time..........

I am not sure what triggered me to get this...as I don’t get these that often or ever...ummmmm.........22 yrs to be exact................I have an idea though...but holy shit...........its not nice...immediate chills and fever...and cramping.............today I am a lil weak but better...cos Mr. C has some good chit man...

Don’t ya just love I can self-diagnose?

Moving on..........

I am OK once again with The Professor, although I did cancel our day together, which regardless I would have had to ....................as well.............I am not walking all that well..........and for the bathrooms sake...umm furgit about it....


Anyway.........I did allot of self-reflecting...........and this was all actually brought on by Mr. C..............I was outside, looking like I lost my best friend and he asked what was wrong...I didnt wanna tell him, as I truly didnt think he would be very objective or understanding, but he insisted I tell him...cos he said "its the Professor right?"...I said "yes"

I tell him the story

He listens

Tells me something..............well allots of things..........

I get up

Immediately feel better

And feel like an ass

And receive a note from the professor...

Which I replied 2...

So that’s where it sits.........

All I do know is these are my own insecurities, as my past wasn’t all that fabulous, or even lucky when it came to the X issue....................so nothing she has done warrants me not to trust her..........as I do trust her...............but I also have a right to be scared...........but my episode yesterday was not a result of what she has done........................it is just allot of bottled up pain.........

And frustration.............

And we have to remember that Nicole has not been in this situation in ages...................

Anyways

I am OK, sick, and hoping my self-diagnosis does the trick, cos I am not in the mood to see no DR.

I am going to lie down...................and get up and do HOMEWORK.............

Fun huh?


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