Tony

A week ago yesterday I lost my life-friend to a drug overdose. So this last week I have been with family and friends..............paying respects and attending the funeral/viewing/wake.I finally came home yesterday, I am emotionally spent.Anyone who knows me...knows what Tony meant to me.We were lovers, friends, companions, partiers, freaks, and we even came out at the same time...We always said we would either end up married or..............well we both did the OR...

Tony will always be loved and remembered. Anyone who knew him loved him.

I have so much more to say about him, I really just cant right now.

I want my friend back......


I want I want

I wish

I love

Tony........I miss you

Chase

this is my baby!!!!

More later

Chasers..........

Well

I shall now give an update on mylfe (my Life) for those of you who have forgotten.

Mr.C was pulled over AGAIN for drunk driving...but they reduced it to a negligent driving. He then hit 3...yes count them 1,2,3...THREE cars.

His license has thus been suspended.........

His GF has a DUI as well............so she should be losing her license here soon 2.

I am STILL trying to get all my shit together here...............unpack and find room Etc....not much fun.........I hate moving.... seems like yesterday I was driving my 1/4 filled U-Haul from Portland...........and now here I am again, living out of boxes and not being able to find my stuff and going CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

Other than that...nothing really new...I still need to call about my Job, to see if I indeed still have a JOB!!!..........So that shall be Mondays adventure...

I do have to announce the arrival of my new blue-eyed baby boy


Chase

He weighs about 1lb
Is approx. 4 weeks old
and is the most adorable tiny baby boy I have ever had.

He was living inside my weight set at my brothers place..........we seen each other.......I ran...he ran........I then went back and got him........we have been inseparable ever since.........

He is a BALINESE with tipped ears .......I found some photos online that closely resemble him, but we took a few yesterday with his lil collar so when we get them I shall show ya!!!















BTW

The Professor freaks out when I blog which is why I dont update, so y'all can blame her!!!

;)

Holy Shit!!!!

Ok...its been I guess...like.........2 months since I last posted...and I shall try and explain the reason why it has taken me so bloody long to post....

I guess the last time I posted I was explaining that I was burnt out with school, my job, and life in particular..........and that pretty much sums up what I have been doing the past 8 weeks....

Ok

That is the cheap, easy way out of an update...but I really don’t know where to begin...

So lets begin here

In March I Blogged
my brother is back AGAIN with his crazy ex now not so ex GF.


So I shall start here.........

Seems this Angie Grrl.......whom now and forever shall be called......WhoreofManyColors..........is moving completely in with Mr.C

See its like this...........I have been living in Cougar Country since March, and well........The Professor and found our own pad and I am basically moved in up here, but I WAS going to keep a room at my brothers so if and when he needed me to help him, well all would be ready. Well this was the plan until last week. I went back to see Mr.C and he ( for the 4th time) explained to me that she

1. Cheated on him AGAIN with Mr. Porcelain.
2. Lied to him ( Goes with the cheating)
3. Stole from him. (Againnnnnnnnn)
4. Freaked out on him ( Againnnnnnnnnnnn)

Ok well I basically told him what I thought of her........and that was that.

So I leave that day to go and do some errands, I return back to pick up a few things when I am told by kuntjoy that my brother has left to go and pick this bitch up.....

uh hum

I then begin packing up my belongings and head out........when in walks Mr.C who then asks me what I am doing...........which ..obviously.....I am leaving....

I then explain to him that I don’t understand him anymore and how he can forgive her AGAIN is beyond me and that I don’t want any part of his relationship. I tell him that I cannot stand by and watch him get hurt and destroy himself over this woman.

See in the past 2 months my brother, as a result of his relationship with this woman, has

A) received a DUI
B) Been put into debt
C) lost respect from family and friends
and just yesterday
D) Been hospitalized

oh yes

I have explained several times on here that my brother is not the picture of health. He has renal failure, and as such is prone to getting infections. Well he has not been taking care of himself ( drinking and running himself ragged) and as a result got a sever UTI and went Septic. Now I know its difficult for anyone outside of the situation to understand how I can blame this on the WhoreofManyColors, but she is not helping Mr.C in terms of his health and other aspects of his life.


Ok

Well I do believe I have always spoken very highly of my brother and have been very proud of our relationship. Well we are now estranged, he really wants nothing to do with me as I won’t kiss her ass.........and well..........being the stubborn german/irsih sort........well we are barely talking .........and when we do ...its civil at best.

So I know this is a bit jumbled, but it’s really the best I can come up with........I mean I could try and elaborate with more detail, but what’s the point?

2 Sum it up.

Mr.C is living with a lying/cheating/white-trash whore that I do not approve of.

No one in my family does.

Aunt Glo is trying her best to "keep the peace" with everyone, but not everyone is willing to pitch in with her effort.

Now........to top it off.......I did mention that this whore is a thief did I not?

ok then......

I go back down last night as I get the message my brother is in the hospital.......and well............I figure since I am there I will pick up a few things.......I go into what was my room...........and grab my jewelry box.........and what do you know?

My 18k ring is missing as well as my 18k bracelet...

One guess as to where it went?

I am sure she will deny it as well my brother will believe her ( he is obviously whipped to the nth degree) so my only conclusion is that they must of trotted off on their 18k legs to the gold seminar or some such place.....

Uh huh


FUCK!!!!!!

Ok moving on............


School is almost finished...............I have to finish my Political Science stuff and then I am done for the semester...........A's and B's thus far.

I took a month leave from work............I still have to call my boss 2day to find out when I am supposed to be returning, but I haven’t gotten up the nerve. I truly don’t want to return there..........I would like to just start OVER...........but we need the $$$

The Professor and I are doing well..........she just left to go and do the grocery shopping...........we love our new place, and are still planning on an August wedding.

What else.........


I have to return to Small Ville tomorrow to retrieve the rest of my stuff.......which ought to be fun with that bitch there.................and it might work out for the better seeing how Mr.C is in the hospital.........I mean that in the way that he and I wont have an altercation, which I am trying to avoid if at all possible.


I love my brother, more than anything........and this tears me up.........how he can be so blind and at the same time punish me for not kissing her ass and accepting her with open arms. But hey..........I am looking out for him, but he sees it as me not standing by him as he says " if it were you........I would support whatever decision you made".

Well this may be true.........but then again if I was with someone who had lied, cheated/ stole from me on more than ONE occasion I feel I would want him to tell me to wake up!!!! I would want him to be supportive, but also discourage me as I feel he would hate to see me hurt, and if I were to continue in some ridiculous dream-relationship.........he would know that it was going to end badly....

But then again.......he isn’t me and vise-versa.

Oh how fun is this trip we call life?

I want him to be happy........with someone who really loves him. When you love someone you don’t do the things she does.......and wow..........has she some crazy twisted shit.......and she somehow talks her way out of any culpability every single time


Ok I know ....I know

ENUFF ALREADY!!!

I just had to vent...........


I had best eat something and then finish these damn assignments

I shall be a good Blogger and update on a daily basis...........I shall I shall


Oh I thought I would post something from my past that is hilariourous...........


It should take the foul taste out or your mouth after reading what I just wrote...


The Captain wrote this April 2001 about the night him and I met.........the brunette is my buddie Stace.........

Oh these were good times.

Good times.

More lata'


Last night got out of hand...
It started out innocently enough. I went home from work and had something to eat and was feeling a bit tired so I decided to take a nap for a bit. A couple hours later I woke up and decided to head down to Old C's to see if anyone was around to play pool. I took the long way there so I could drive like a maniac a bit more in the ol' Celica GT. Very fun.
I arrived and ran into Electron MicroJeff and we were soon joined by Paul from Dublin, Bill and his amazingly beautiful and very nice wife from Venezuala. (Bill gives me hope because though Bill is a really nice guy, he's not the pinacle of manly good looks and his wife is all around good.) Anyway, they were going out for dinner and I declined dinner with them. A few minutes later Sportwriter showed up and we began to play a little pool. We won a few and lost a few but decided to quit playing when Alabama Girl showed up. Sportwriter and Alabama Girl have a bit of a fling going.) Anyway, a couple hours of drinking goes by and MicroJeff and the boys show up again, Johnny Vegas comes in and Forest comes in for a couple drinks and things are starting to get riled up a bit.
By the end of the night, MicroJeff and Paul are arguing about rules in pool with the two guys they were playing, one of which is a bar tender at Old C's. They also start arguing about who is the bigger asshole. (That was pretty funny.) Johnny Vegas is schmoozing a couple gals as he always is, one of them he is doing really well with. The girl's friend keeps telling me I look like Marky Mark but she has a peculiar way about that I just can't put my finger on. I also disregard any chance of getting anywhere with her because she is 5' 11" blonde hair, blue eyes and a spectacular body, and let's face it, I'm not. Sportswriter has left and Alabama Girl is a little tipsy now and keeps hugging me and calling me her favorite Canadian Guy and trying to ward me away from the tall blonde girl saying her, 'Female Radar' is going off and that girl is bad news.
So Forest gives Alabama Girl a lift home which is good because she is pretty sauced. MicroJeff's other buddies take off for the night and Steve says he wants to go out with the girls for another drink somewhere. It's already 2:30am but what the hell, I've never had anyone over to my place before down here so I invite MicroJeff and Johnny Vegas and the two ladies over for a couple drinks.
(Side Note: Saw Italy and her boyfriend at the bar. They went downtown and he parked somewhere he shouldn't have and got his car towed away.)
Back to the tale at hand. We ge to my place and I crack a bottle of wine and pass out a couple Smirnov Ice. MicroJeff is getting into a heated discussion with the blonde girl about being a lesbian. Yes, that is exactly what I said. A 5'11", beautiful, blonde hair, blue eyed, 36-D sportin', size-6-ass lesbian is in my apartment. Her friend, who Johny Vegas is on like stink on shit starts to not feel well and has to give homage to the porcelin altar. MicroJeff heads home because he has to work in 3 hours, leaving me with Miss Sexy Lesbian. (I think that is a fitting description.) So the night moves on a little further and finally I boot everyone out because it is now 4:30am and I have to work at 8am. Vegas's little girl flashes us her breasts a couple times because she is fuckin WASTED. Miss Sexy Lesbian shakes my hadn and says it was nice to meet me when they are getting ready to go and then she doesn't let go of my hand. She pulls me in and gives me hug, which I'm all for, because hey, she's a sexy 5'11" lesbian with huge breasts. Most men never see a girl like this unless they are renting a movie from Joe's Corner Movie Mart in the little back closet section. She lets go, looks at me, hugs me again, lets go, sits down. Then she gets up, hugs me again. Now I'm getting a little confused as to what she is trying to do here. She's a bit drunk and so am I so I ask her if she would like some water before they go. She nods, I bring her a glass of water and she stands up, sets the water down, hugs me again and then she starts kissing me.
I was kissed by a tall beautiful lesbian.
No, I was not dreaming, I am not making this shit up. Johnny Vegas was there and he can vouch for the truth of the matter. So Miss Sexy Lesbian sits down on my lap in my big coushy chair and kisses me a few more times. Her friend is now saying, "What the hell are you doing kissing a guy!" (I personally thought she was jealous, which is weird for a straight girl to be jealous of her lesbian friend kissing a guy.) Anyway, she kissed me a few more times, left me her number and asked me to call her sometime soon. Johnny Vegas is pretty close to sober so he drives the drunk brunette (who flashed us her breasts again) and Miss Sexy Lesbian home for the night. I make some quick dinner, throw backa couple glasses of water and head to bed.
Morning comes and I am in no shape to even get out of bed. I call into work, blame my alergies, drink some more water, and head back to bed. I awaken at 12:30, go down to CDI and grab my paycheque, hit the bank and then come into work. What a weird night I had.
All I did was go home from work to take a nap.
One thing I have to add. Johnny Vegas went for couple more drinks with the ladies and I guess the brunette was trying to get Miss Sexy Lesbian in on some three-way action. Much to Johnny Vegas' dismay, she declined and he was stuck with only one girl. Poor, poor Johnny

5 weeks!?

I cannot believe it has been over 5 weeks since I have Blogged...

WHAT THE HELL!!??


So to bring those who still dare to visit this here ghost of a Blog...here you go.



I am getting married.

August 4th.

I am terrified.

My Ex and I are actually really close now.

I am on the verge of quitting school.

Burnt out!!

My brother is back AGAIN with his crazy ex now not so ex GF.

I almost had a heart attack when I seen that SD has stopped all abortions from being legal....

I mean.........I could really go on about this issue, but seeing how this is my 1st post in as many weeks...I shall refrain...

For now!

Binks is in Penn. still.............he was a bit harsh with me when I called him to invite him to my weeding...

Moving on...


Well I must finish this bloody assignment...

And off to the job,

Yes I am still working...

Still breathing
Still bonking

Most importantly

Still SHOPPING!!!


Ciao

SuperHawks

Well it’s Super Bowl Sunday and our Seahawks have finally made it to the BIG game!!

I along with the rest of the country shall be watching this national past time with the excitement and glee of a small child at x-mas time. I only hope that the Hawks will walk away with that big ''ol ring and come back to this wet and forgotten state champions!!

In other news...

I caught Jo's cold........o joy.

I haven’t spoken with ANY of my friends in ages...........seems Binks is heading off to Pennsylvania for some god awful reason........I don’t know why

Patti Anne is working 900 hours a week so I rarely hear from her.

Stace hasn’t been calling so I can only imagine she is mad @ me again for some bloody reason.

Lets see......I am still at the same job, and will remain as Jo and I have decided that a job is better than NO job regardless of how horrible it might be.

Mr.C is still with that grrl.....I took her out the other evening only to have her X Mr. Porcelain come into the bar and verbally attack me ( cunt, dyke,whore,lesbo,crazy bitch....Etc.) and scream insults and profanities at her. Only thing is she is used to it...........and she claims that she NEVER told him she thought I was ANY of those things..........UH HUH!

So Mr.C is completely enamored with this grrl..........and so we shall see how long this shall last.

I am off to shower, send the fiancée' to the store for beer and goodies for the game.........then either get a happy buzz, or a.... "O WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!?? " buzz..

More lata'

O.........

My buddy in Portland wrote this about Shrubs lil speech the other day......

I thought it fitting..........as well.....I completely agree with him ( the captain that is).



Captain's Log Stardate Tuesday January 31, 2006

State of the Union is... Most Republicans are still suckers!

Bush telling you about how you need to get off your dependence on foreign oil is like Coors, Budweiser and Molson telling you to stop drinking because it's bad. What a fuckin moron. And the only people even more stupid then Bush is the ones who believe anything he says.

Maybe next he'll be telling you his daughter's don't drink, he's a war hero, brown people hate our freedom and that Exxon needs big profits to do research and development and they weren't war profiteering... oh wait, sorry, he's already done all that. Well, except maybe the one about his daughters.

Next election, if you vote for any Republican candidate who is currently in power, don't cry to me or anyone else when terrorists are still blowing up shit, gas is out of control expensive, you have no health care, you're in debt up to your eyeballs, can't declare bankruptcy and, oh yeah, the government knows when your period is, where you go for beers and reads your mail.

Why, that's what America is all about!

untitled

Well again I have been a bad bad Blogger.

Life is moving along...

Clint is Back with Angle Grrl and again her daughter is here, with her...

I took her out last night to get a feel for her...and while we were talking her X showed up and showed his wonderful colors. Cops were called...whole bit.

I thought to myself if you can be with someone like that.........your not right.

As well the shit he screamed at me that she supposedly didn’t say about me...

UH HUH

Moving on

School is school

Jo and I are moving in with each other.........

That’s that.

I made the National Deans List...

Only 1/2 of 1% of students in the nation makes it...


I am outy

life or what ever its called

Well I have to make this really quick. As usual. I am off to the gym and then to work... thankfully I still have the Job.

Seems Jo's parents are making her move as they want her to pay double what she was paying for rent...so now we have to figure out what WE are doing ASAP....

I want to live with her.........but I also want to be with my brother.........

So...........you know?

Things are a lil whacked.

School is trudging along.

Life is what you make of it...and right now I seem to be making quarts of sour lemonade...not the refreshing crisp fresh kind... (I sound like a damn country time commercial!)


Okay

I am off to sweat and run and forget for minute how messy things are right now.

Manual 101

I stole this.......but Holy fuck if it anit right on the money...










When you meet a lesbian (Hints for the straight women)

Do not run away screaming from the room. This is rude!!! If you must back away, do slowly and with discretion.

Do not assume she is attracted to you.

Do not assume that she is not attracted to you.

Don't assume that you are not attracted to her.

Do not expect her to be as excited about meeting an heterosexual as you may be about meeting a lesbian, she was probably raised by them.

Do not immediately start talking about your boyfriend or husband in order to make it clear that you are straight. She probably already knows.

Do not ask her how she got that way. Instead ask yourself how YOU got that way.

Do not assume that she is dying to talk about being a lesbian.

Do not expect her to refrain from talking about being a lesbian.

Do not assume that because she is a lesbian she wants to be treated like a man.

Do not trivialise her experience by assuming it is a bedroom issue only.

She is a lesbian 24 hours a day.

Quickie

This will B a Quick update....

I know I have been out a commission for ages, but I have been so insanely busy its not even funny.

Lets See......

Mr.C and Angel Grrl are now separated.
I spent the holidays alone.
I went to Missouri on New Yrs Eve to meet my future in Laws...
(This is a story I shall have to get back 2...just know it was a BIG 'OL CLUSTER FUCK!)

Side note

I've decided to elaborate on the meeting with the in -laws. It was a horrible experience. See the whole reason I went to meet the Clever's ( I use this as a way to describe them as they truly are the Clever's incarnate) was to inform them that Jo and I were to be married. Of course the parents were shocked and thought we were rushing and yadda yadda. Well in order for us to tell them the news.....we needed a bit of liquid courage. Well Tequila was the poison we chose...............needless to say Jo ended up praying to the porcelain God and I was stuck with the Clever's.......namely the mother..........well...........needless to say many many things were discussed and many things were said by the mother.....about her own daughter......and of course I divulged the discussion and the things that were said to Jo.......as the things that the mother said were absolutely horrible and mean. If my mother had said the things she said I would have never spoken to her again. Well...............I had a few drinks.......and I was drunk.........but not blackout drunk or sloppy drunk.........and I remember every damn word of that conversation............and to put things in a better perspective.....immediately after the conversation I woke Jo up to tell her what her mother had said..........so as to not forget. Well..........of course when mother was confronted she denied everything....Convenient isn't it?....Made me out to be the monster and went on to tell individuals that I have a drinking problem and am a nasty individual. To this day she still blames me.......denies ever saying the things that were said. I will say that the In-laws are in all actuality good people..........very generous ..........although the mother will be more than happy to generous , but then tell you how much it set her back or that it was so hard to do so...........which .......I have never understood individuals who do this as if it is so hard......then why do it? Other than to make the recipients feel guilty. So that being said........thank you both for everything you have done for Jo and I...........but I will not forget that conversation and I will not forgive being called a liar and a drunk and a nasty individual.......I also do not enjoy nor understand individuals who don't have the balls to say what they really feel to a persons face.......go behind their backs and talk shit to their daughters ex's...........really insightful into ones character.......................I have not forgotten nor will I forgive this ..............as I know what was said and out of courtesy to my spouse I will not repeat it here...........I mean just know if thats how they feel about thier only daughter...........wow.



Moving on......................








I am now back in school...

I still hate my job.

Lucy is back @ work now.

Hmmmmm

O the Professor and I are doing fabulous...

Just yesterday she bought and had installed a 6 CD changer/stereo system in my car!!

(My belated B-day and X-mas gift)

She also bought me a beautiful dresser...actually 2. One for here and one for there.

We are seriously committed to one another. Marriage is the topic of the day ALL the time...and I shall have to divulge more about my feelings and so forth on this lil topic soon............

( Her X is being a freak as of late.......Miss Horse.......so I am going to have to deal with the lesbian of the Mountain here soon)

O boy...

So I must be off 2 the 'ol jobola!!!

O JOY!!!

But I will B back tonight!!

Thanx for all your patience my Blogger Buddies and real-time friends

You know who you are!!

O and ‘M’...good to hear from ya!!!!!!

Ciao

98.7%

That’s right........I am almost finished with School.......English is DONE!!!
Accounting..........1 more exam

Soc........3 assignments that I will do Wed.

Math.............INCOMPLETE


I am going to make it.........I really am!!!!


Jo.......the Professor..........my now Fiancée'...is GREAT........we practically live 2gether now........

Mr. C Is ABfAB...........

Aunt Glo and I are great again

Kuntjoy......well he overdosed...........spent 2 nights in the hospital........he is home now..........we shall see how he does....


I am off to make coffee and shower for work, which I took 9 days away from THANK GOD!!!!


Ok

More lata'

screwed

Everything is a mess

And I mean everything...........I really feel for the 1st time that my life is spinning out of my control and I am at a loss as to how to fix it...........

My relationship with my brother.........my lover........my job.........and most importantly my academic career is all amiss..............so basically my whole fucking future.................I want to crawl into a hole and hibernate for the next 20 or so yrs......


So hang on until I wake up...............


I'll get back to ya

Need another holiday

This will B Short.

I need a holiday from my holiday.


It was fabulous......Orcas Is. was Beautiful....it was the drive that was exhausting as I HATE driving at night...and well.........we drove at night a considerable amount of time.......


The Professor and I are doing well..

Mr.C is happy, but his new truck is giving him grief.


Lucy quit at the J.

:(


Ummmmm

Im hungry and in need of hooking up my new DELL which is still IN ITS BOX!!!!

I know I know

so I shall try and do that this weekend.......as well I have an accounting exam and I need to finish up SOC> which I am doing on me 5 day holiday at the end of NOV. I also have to submit my writing portfolio.....so I can register for next term....


Ok....that just about does it for now.....

Life keeps on trucking along.....


More lata

eons

Yes I know!!!!!!
Its been a LONG flippin time since I have Blogged........but I have been a bit busy with me life.

I really don’t know where to begin.

Patti Anne came last weekend ( well I don’t know if she actually 'came', but she was here!) and all was well there..........took her to Pullman when she arrived for a Halloween party and to meet the Professor...........as well as the rest of the Professors friends..........we then came back here the following day for........ well...... an interesting day..........but all was well.........I hope she had a good visit, as well, it was different..........

The Professor and I are stronger than we have been, we have been through allot the past week, or 2 and I feel it has only brought us closer, but at the same time I am scared to death that when she feels more like herself she will see me .........I mean really SEE me and then leave............as right now things are not at all Kosher with her............plus Miss. Horse has spilt with her GF, and is now single and I fear that they will somehow find themselves pulled to one another............as the Professor has mentioned she misses intellectual conversations and such, which is fine as I do as well............but she hasn’t really been in a place to have these..........and well I haven’t a clue as to what is going on in the world or with my studies or anything..........I feel completely lost.

I have let everything go to be with her.......and now I have to figure out what I am going to do...........with school, work is the only thing that is OK............thankfully..... as I am also for the 1st time financially crunched............well not to the point of OMG I CANT AFFORMD MY EGG NOG LATE'! ...........but I am not happy with my financial situation.......

I really just need to a week to myself to catch up and get this shit done.........

Which is what I shall do......... AFTER........

I go to Seattle this weekend or a place near Seattle called the Rosario Resort & Spa..........off of the San Juan Islands...here is a few pics






















We are leaving Sat. morning EARLY........and returning Monday.................hopefully the drive will be OK as I know the passes are shit..................but Sweet T thinks we should be OK.


I also just purchased a new PC.............................which I am happy about..........so I am going to be receiving that here soon.......



Order Group Quantity Item Description

1 1 221-9861 DIM E510,P4,630 (3.0 GHZ),HT
1 1 311-5491 512MB DDR2 SDRAM,400MHZ- 2X256MB,DIM,M
1 1 310-5234 DELL USB KEYBOARD,DIM,LC
1 1 320-4135 17IN (17.0 IN) E173FPV,FPIB,DIM,M
1 1 320-4270 INTEGRATED VIDEO
1 1 341-0884 160GB SERIAL ATA,7200 RPM,DIM,M
1 1 341-2724 3.5IN,1.44MB,FD,DIM
1 1 412-0688 IMAGE RESTORE, DIM
1 1 412-0721 DELL SUPPORT 3.0,DIM 3000,4600,4700
1 1 420-4927 WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER 10,DIM
1 1 420-5646 WINXP MCE 2005,ENG,DIM,NM,NA,U
1 1 463-2282 THANKS FOR PURCHASING YOUR DELL
1 1 420-5460 ONLINE TRAINING SW ICON,DIM/INSP
1 1 420-5476 DELL DIRECT DOWNLOAD,DHS,DIM/INSP
1 1 420-5598 WILD TANGENT GAMING CLIENT,DIM/INSP
1 1 310-6477 DELL 2-BUTTON USB OPTICAL MOUSE,DIM
1 1 430-0412 INTEGRATED,INTEL PRO 100M PCI NIC CARD
1 1 313-3515 V.92/56K PCI DATAFAX,MODEM,LF,DIM
1 1 412-0705 ADOBE ACROBAT READER 6.0
1 1 313-3724 16X DVD+/-RW CD-RW COMBO DRIVE,DIM05,M
1 1 420-5079 DECODING SOFTWARE,POWER DVD,DIM
1 1 313-2758 INTEGRATED AUDIO
1 1 313-3807 DELL A525 SPEAKERS,LF,DIM
1 1 420-5638 TRENDMICRO 12.5,PC-CILLIN,ENG,90DAY,DIM
1 1 412-0842 MUSIC MATCH 10.1 BASIC,ODP,DIM/INSP
1 1 412-0845 PHOTO ALBUM 6.0 STARTER,DIM/INSP
1 1 412-0687 NETZERO ISP,DIM/INSP
1 1 412-0625 DELL/MY WAY HOME PAGE
1 1 420-3224 BROADBAND ICON FOR CONSUMER
1 1 412-0787 AOL FOR BROADBAND
1 1 420-5256 NETSCAPE ISP,DIM/INSP
1 1 412-0803 WORDPERFECT OFFICE 12 + TRIAL,DIM/INSP
1 1 950-3337 1YR LIMITED WARRANTY
1 1 950-9797 NO WARRANTY,YRS 2/3(DIM,INSP,NBD)
1 1 960-6380 TECH SPRT,DIM,S90,INIT YR
1 1 960-6200 NBD,DIM,BSC,S90,INIT YR,DHS,HIGH
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Ok I think that brings us all back to date with me..............

I am off to the gym

more lata'

Past/Present= CRASH

I know I know...again I have been a neglectful Blogger...what can I say?

Not much

Really.


Okay here we go with a recap of my week..........

I worked Thurs-Fri....

Friday night after work at about 10ish I called my GF who was at the bar with Sweet T copping a buzz..........she asked if I would cum or come up there...and I says

YESUMMM

I then jump in me car and cruise on up.........which I hate driving at night for reasons I shall divulge at a later date............so Friday night I played drinker grrl..............which is all good


:)

Veddy Nice............

Can anyone say


OH SHANE!!!!!????

I can

OH SHANE!!

YOOHOO

OVER HERE!!!!



Uh huh

Moving on......


I passed out............from exhaustion if nothing else.............Ok so that leads me to yesterday..................Sunday/ hangover- I -wanna- die -day....................I managed to take a nap and then came home to check on me beloved lil brother who had some really good news for me...

Seems Mr. C totaled his car Sat. morning...............completely totaled it............he is fine, but the passenger in the other vehicle is claiming back pain, so I am waiting to be served now anytime as the car was in my name.................sooooooooooooooo

I then went back to the Professors.......................Sunday afternoon as Sweet T was coming back over to make us dinner while we watched Absolutely Fabulous, which it was absolutely fabulous..........I do adore that show sweeties!!!

Ok



And I cannot go back there again...........not now.

Once again this is my only outlet..............a window of sorts to peek out of/into............let something in and out............

In through the out door...........

This is mylfe

Mr. C is sleeping .............I came in and he was so happy to see me...I miss him...so I am going to spend this week with him...and my home .............and try and sort through this pain and try to find a way to be at peace with ME again.................

I am off to work now...

More lata'

Anni

I missed my Anniversary!

DAMMIT!!!

My BLOG anniversary...see I started this here Blog a yr ago on the 9th of Oct. 2004.

Where did the time go?

To be honest it seems like the time went rather slowly...........with spurts of insanity and chaos intertwined with slow motion boredom.........

However...that cannot be said for the past month

Or so.

ALSO

I have had over 5000 hits...one wouldnt know with my current counter, but I know as I have an invisible one

UH HUH

I smart!!!!

FOOLED YA's!!

Nothing really new to report...............I spent the afternoon with my GF.... and it was great.........BUT............something is amiss...and now that I am in a relationship I don’t feel I can truly divulge the goings on of the details of my relationship to the world, so I am going to have to find other ways to vent...without sacrificing OUR privacy............

I mean think about it..........if one were to be married, the other half wouldn’t be to enthused to know the other half was divulging the goings on of the marriage to the entire planet..........well I know I wouldn’t...........so from here on out...I will speak of my GF in general terms such as

"We went to the movies, but I couldn’t tell you what the movie was about!!'

That sorta thang

:)

Aint I a daisy?

Uh huh

Moving on............

Time for more accounting...

And Binks will be here in a few days so I am playing major house cleaning freak.........I was up until 3AM mopping floors last night, which is why I was an hour late to my Gf’s (that and I had to run to the REZ to get her her LAST carton of smokes)

SO

I am playing the number nerd alert and Mrs. Clever house Cleaner

Oh I rhymed

hee hee

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Activation

Well last night at work was a good one.........although my Gaydar is OFF in a big way..........see there is this nurse who I SWORE was gay...............I mean how couldnt she be???????? ......Now that was a stupid question.......Anyway.............. she was standing there talking to someone and mentioned her husband.... OK...............so I am trying to figure out if this CODE for GF or WIFE or if I need a fucking tune-up?


Moving on...

I FINALLY activated my new cell phone..........no more SSKSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!

OMG I couldn’t take it anymore...........and lately I have been using my brothers phone as I cant even talk on mine...................he doesn’t mind, but I mean I am on the phone ALOTT ................and he tends to like to use his own phone on occasion..........so I am pretty sure he will be happy that I finally did the phone thang................now all I have to do is program all me #'s in the damn thang, which will take 4ever.......................that’s why I was avoiding doing it............

OK

Now I know mylfe is boring when all I have to Blog about is my new celly...........

I am looking forward to Binks coming Saturday...........and then Patti Anne on the 28th...

IT’S ABOUT TIME!!!

I have only been gone over a yr now........................but................this last trip to the wet city was exceptionally good................we all got along so well without any flippin drama from my ex's.........and that was what made for a nice and relaxing visit, which may or may not of been the deciding factor for them both to come.............as previous visits were............well in a word................INSANE.........lots of drinking...on my part.........and on the part of my X.............X lover to be precise.......anyway ...............without that individual in the picture things were very sedate and nice....and that’s exactly how this holiday for the 2 of them shall be............

Looking forward to it...............I am I yam

Ok then..............I must be off to smoke..............and then shower................and then read accounting............

Fun with numbers

O joy

O …………and I do have a song for the day

Ordinary Love by Sade

I love Sade

But for some reason this song fits my mood today………..and my heart…and well u get the picture…



More lata'

Bands

In Sickness and in Health

Well once again I have been neglecting this here Blog, but I have reason(s) for my lack of posting.

1st of all Binks came over this past weekend. He made it Saturday night at about 4PM....I then took him to Roosters for dinner which was veddy nice...we had a great conversation and then we ventured to the local gay pub, which I had never been in to b4, and I must admit I really liked the atmosphere, very retro 70'ish..............and the bartender was very courteous and sweet.........after I took Binks to the Litter Box where we met up with Mr. C who was by this time feeling no pain!! He was really entertaining...we shot some darts and then headed to Shooters for a few games of stick and more entertaining amusement from my little drunken brother...the only downer to the evening was when Miss James showed up (Mr.C’s X) as I really cant stand her and neither can Binks and it turns out neither can Mr.C (he just informed me this about an hour ago)..........

So afterwards Binks and I came home and watched the L Word and called it a night............although another funny event was when we were leaving the Litter Box, Binks used his mommies Cruiser as a 4 Wheel drive...........drove RIGHT over the concrete parking divider...OUCH.........no harm done though...but it was LAUGHS

So Sunday we slept in and then dashed about town buying steaks and booze for the BBQ we were having for Binks, Lucy, Mr. C and meself...........plus we had to jet up to Pullman so Binks could meet the love of me life The Professor............we finally made it there around 5ish...poor Professor was sick with a cold...so I explained to her the plans for the evening and she looked at me with those hypnotic eyes of hers and asked (can I come too?) I says YESUUMMM

:)

So The Professor, Binks, and I then ventured to Riccos (as this is where her and I met and its OUR bar now) for a quick shot and we then cruised on back to my place............after playing make out in the back seat while Binks drove we arrived to my home where we all had dinner and watched Bound (HOT MOVIE) .............and The Professor stayed @ me home for the very 1st time.............in the process she gave me her cold...

Well Monday morning I took my baby home and promised to come back to take her to see the Dr as she was really dizzy and nauseated by this time..............so I then came back to Clarkston to take Binks shopping and say Buh Bye's..........we scored on some really killer Leather Jackets at Shopko...........so we were stylin in a big way................ as usual ;)

Binks then stayed on to hook up Mr. C's Hi FI system whilst I drove BACK to Pullman where I then took My baby to the DR....I even went in with her and held her lil hand...she was so cute...she had an inner ear infection, so they gave her anti- vertigo meds and anti-nausea meds.............so............that was Monday................I now am home..........as I have been with The Professor since Sunday night....................

WOW

Last night was a trip though cos one of the Professors friends..............Sweet T is what I shall call her, well she is gay as well.............and my friend to now...actually we all are going on holiday in November to an Island up off of Seattle for a weekend of Spa and spoils.........anyways...I flirt extensively with Sweet T...cos it makes her all nervous and tingly, well last night the Professor wanted us to watch a Power Point presentation she made while in Alaska on gay rights............so after having a few brewskies, the Professor said go cuddle with Sweet T while we all watch, so me being me, I did..........

Well when Sweet T left, the Professor was not HAPPY..........at all!!!

So we talked ................and now I know the boundaries..........and that’s good cos I really wanted to know where me boundaries were.... but like the Professor said " How would u like it if I was doing that with another woman?" Well I wouldn’t, but then again I wouldn’t have even told her to go and cuddle with another woman............so it was a weird night, but we are OK now...I hope anyway..................

All I know is we spent the past 4 days together.............were sick together................ate together.........slept in front of the fire together...pretty much were TOGETHER most of the past 4 days...and I am more madly in love with her now than b4, and I hope she knows that there isn’t another woman on the planet that could take me from her.................not now..............not ever..................


I LOVE YOU PROFESSOR!!!

And if need be I will shout it from the highest mountain and smallest stream to let her know that I love her with all of my being...and just cos I might hug or cuddle a friend doesn’t take away the intensity of my love and adoration for my GF..................

Ok then

I must be off to work...I have had a good day today....................PLUS the shrub lady is here trimming the hedges, she is really cute too...shook my hand and asked my name and said " Nice hand shake!'...And winked at me..............I smiled and walked away....................

Smiling to myself.......................and thinking............God.............I am so in love .................Miss Jolie could be trimming my hedges and I wouldn’t even notice her ................I really wouldn’t.......... I know I know Ur all saying............. RIGHT NICOLE!

But I know ME!!!

ME LOVES The Professor!!





I do.


Still.


Ok then

More lata'

Breakdown

The only word I can find that can suitably describe my emotional state right now...Is completely BROKEN...

I just received some news..........and I sat here..........not shocked.... as I had this premonition last night that the woman I am in love with would hear from her X, and indeed she did...I knew this last night...I was sitting here last night............... right here...and it hit me...........Miss Horse is going to contact the Professor...and what do u know...she did.........and apparently they are meeting in Spokane .............

I am writing this here as I truly have no place else to vent...........after the initial shock of it...and being told I have nothing to worry about...that this is something the Professor needs to do to truly move on...it hit me...........

I have been here.........2 other times...no make that 3.............3

I am numb.........I know how this works...........

And it just hit me...all the pain...the uncertainty...being scared, no terrified..........and I lost it...I am so happy my brother is asleep...cos If he would have walked in and seen his sister literally falling apart on her bedroom floor...well.........he would have been a bit devastated...all the hurt I went through with Dego and Teabag, and some of James.... just came rushing back again............and I lost it...I don’t think I have felt like this in 3 yrs..........and I am trying to pull it together as I have to go to work in an hour.......and when Nicole walks in everyone expects this strong-together,smart,confident woman to walk in...........

That’s who I have to be...

And today I’m not

I hate this day...and the way I am feeling and the fact I cannot seem to stop grabbing the box of Kleenex.........I want to go to the gym and just sweat this pain out of me..............for hours and hours............

I also keep thinking of Binks and how badly I NEED him to hold me right now...I keep listening to this song or CD he sent me............ Tommy Land...Hello Again & I need you...and it just makes me cry or sob more...............not becos it makes me sad, but becos his friendship is right now the only thing that I know would make me pick myself literally up off of the floor.............

I know I need to do this today...........fall apart............as I have so much to fucking do this weekend...and I don’t have time for the mental breakdown I am so desperately in need of...

I don’t know what this meeting will bring to the Professor and Miss Horse; I just know what I feel...........

I am happy she told me...and of course she has sent me MANY emails between her and the X...which I have to be honest, I didnt need to read............

I feel like I am invading ............imposing...........

I feel fatigued emotionally.

I know this may make no sense to my readers, but I spent the Professors 37th with her...I made this an incredibly romantic day for her..........

Yesterday she told me she loved me

Sunday she is going to see Miss Horse


Today I am dying...

Mr.C told last night this would happen...........I should learn to listen to him...I think from now on I will just keep him in my pocket.........and when I need to make a decision I will pull him out...........cos he is so RIGHT. Maybe becos he knows me so well............

I want so desperately to wake him up..........but I cant let him see me like this...cos trust me.............the reluctance he feels for the Professor will just increase............


I have to go and try and make myself look human again..............

I should have stayed @ work, but I wasn’t on the schedule until 2...so I left...and came home..........and received this news that has made every vulnerability I have come to the surface..........

I wish all you who think I am this unfeeling, uncaring, cold woman could see how bloody wrong you are............

This is WHY I have the WALL I have..........

I don’t dig pain

And pain don’t dig me


Trust...........

T R U S T

These 5 letters are all I have right now............

And my strength..............


Trust/strength

That’s what the next 3 days are going to be defined by for me.........


I will not allow this to break me and push me back into the person I used to be...I have aspired to be a good woman and I am...and I will take away whatever happens from this.........and use it to mold me even more



I have to