brother

I just had the strangest and COOLEST conversation with my brother...which has just made me love him all the more...........

Now Mr. C tells me EVERYTHING..........and well I felt it time to tell him EVERYTHING.........and so I just did..........and I feel that if I can tell him.... and he doesn’t care..........as he said " I love you no matter what you do...or who u do it with"...well I can just tell whomever...........

I was commenting on one of my Gf’s tonight and Mr. C asked me if we were an "item"...and I calmly said..."yea...we were at one time...u do know I'm Bi right?"

He said..."I have always known and I dont care..."

Now how fucking cool is that?

I have always kept my sexuality to myself...........as it really is no ones Beeswax...

But when my lil bro could care less.........and lemme tell ya folks he was the one person I was always worried about..........I really don’t give a shit what anyone thinks...

So yea

Moving on...

I am definitely going to Portland on the 12th or so for a few days............I am now 60% of the way done with school and will finish up by Wednesday...........so that leaves everything open for me trip............

I also finally ended or...........well...gave up on the relationship with 22...........


If you can call it a relationship........more of a clusterfuck of emotions.....

I will never make the mistake of dating anyone that young again..........

I will say I have no hard feelings and wish nothing but the best for Miss M.

I must end this...

Time to watch Million Dollar Baby

Bring it on!

Images

Here I be......In all me splendor. I took these as of today for MySpace...........I have a lil spot over there as well.............I don't take it as serious as I do this here blog.........'right'.............but I thought since I am showing me ug mug there...........might as well show it here..........


I don't wanna be selfish..........


I think everyone deserves a bit of a shock.......


Aint I a daisy?


Moving on..

I am now hitting the books to try and finish up all me assignments by next Friday for the summer course. I have 4 in History and 6 in B. Law..

Wish me luck

Trust me

I'm gonna need it..

rubbish

Last night I was talking with 'ol Binks and we shared a few or actually ALLOT of laughs...as usual...

I got caught up on all the local gossip in Portland & the goings on at my previous Job the dump plus we discussed what the 2 of us have been up to.............which unfortunately we haven’t been up to much..............all was well in our lil conversation.......however.....I feel I must clarify something here............Binks commented on me b4 abs photo.........now he knows me quite well.......has even seen me starkers...........( a drunken night of strip quarters.....don’t ask)...........so when he mentioned or actually stated ( your sucking in your tummy!)............I kina took that a bit personal..............umm........cos I’m really not...............I took that shot at the weirdest angle b4 eating and plus I had just woken up.........if I were to be sucking in..........it would have most likely looked like it as my ribs would a been a poking and jabbing out of me skin... which would have looked rather unsightly............ to tell ya true..........

So I have decided to take a photo of me sucking in me lil tummy............just to make me case...........

Not right now………but soon……….


I know.....I know........I making more out of this than is necessary, but when your life is as dull as mine........these lil experiments are almost exciting.........

Moving on.......

Seems Merry 'ol London has been attacked again!

Wha Fu?

So far only one confirmed casualty............

only one more............

Another death.

For what?

quote

db said...
In the past, I have wanted to get back together, even just moments after the self-induced breakup. Since then I've realized breakups happen for a reason. If you trusted the person during the relationship, you can trust they wanted something you could not (or any longer) offer.

For me .......this is the best quote I have ever come upon regarding breaking up.

db should stand for Damn Brilliant

b4

I am posting a pic of me Abs b4 I started working out........

I shall post the after pic when I get a decent camera...

And b4 anyone asks.......YES THIS IS ME!!!!

In other news........

Kuntjoy flipped out again today..........on me of course......4 no good reason other than he is a fucking freak of nature...........

Mr. C has decided he is no longer allowed here........period.

This time its final.

So that’s good..........

I best stop here........I am watching The Shield season 1 on DVD

Love-crooked cops on DVD

Pals

It’s been awhile since me last post...but hey...life happens

Been doing allot of reflecting… and to be honest… been a bit a bitter lately as a result...luckily I have been lucky in the sense I have great friends near and far to make me feel more up than down...

I was actually an idiot today and read my ex's Blog which is what actually set me off.... as I am… just...well...surprised… I guess… out how easy it was for the ex to replace me so soon...needless to say this made my otherwise good day rather gloomy until N2 called and had me meet her and Lucy for beers and pool at our local pub.........we had a lot of laughs and great talks which made me realize that life does indeed move on...whether I want it to or not…I have been here many times with this realization…but every time seems like the 1st....I guess I am just amazed at how simple it is to see this. And in knowing this…its great to know that I have these wonderful people that I call friends to move on with..........I also had Stace call me a few times 2day as well as Patti Anne, which made me smile and think...wow..........shit might not always go as planned, but in the end, I am lucky enough to have me great friends...near and far.........

Sometimes that’s all a grrl needs..........

BUT

Sometimes a grrl needs more..........but what I know and have learned in me small lil world.........is this.........needing and having.........well...........I would rather see what I have than need what I don’t

My 2AM philosophy

But shit.........if it works..........and believe me... for me it does...then why worry and wallow when u really don’t need to?




OH

B4 I 4get

I finally…and I mean FINALLY…told teabag to fuck off in the nicest way…teabag is the hated and dreaded ex………so finally after 3 yrs of ridiculous and stupidly polite conversational emails I finally made the decision to say…’ I DON’T NEED TO STAY IN CONTACT WIT YOU ANYMORE. ……AND FURTHERMORE….. I REALLY DON’T WANT TO!”

Trust me…this has been a long time coming…

Too long…

It felt great…


In one word.

Liberating.

hee hee

Fuck

I had a good day today.......I really did

I worked out........I was actually in this sorta competition with another grrl at the club in the weight room............you know the kind of silent competition when you know someone is watching you and trying to out do you.......well I believe it was a tie............

I then went and confirmed the carpet I am installing....I am already sick to death of the whole deal..........lemme see..........then I talked with Stace for a bit and laughed as usual.........I then had to venture to the Bon to buy me panties and other under thingy's..........which of course cost me about 100 bones..........I can never buy just one thing......

My 3rd essential flaw..............

Ok..............



Then I checked my email...I made a request...........and it was done by someone I used to know.........but what pisses me off is.... there was no........ "How ya doin?"...Or "FUCK OFF!"

Just the shit I asked for was sent back to me...........

That’s it.

So now I am pissed as I sit here and wonder.......I meant nothing to this person?

Welllllllll

FUCK!!!

Nice way to end my rather good day...........

Grrrr

landlord

Well I am just psyched about the new carpet I am getting next week. George (landlord) stopped by today to tell me he wants the entire house re-done ( bedrooms included) as well as new linoleum in me bathroom.( I know this might sound like the current carpet and linoleum is trashed, but it really isnt, I just simply asked George for something new..and well.........'volia!! I told ya..........I always get what I want!) he even offered to pay to have our furniture moved out so we really dont need to do anyting but vacate while the carpet guys/gals do the lying of the new rug......he also fixed the automatic sprinkler system so my yard will look fabulous once again...........its so nice to have a landlord who actually gives a rats ass about his tenants and makes sure to keep me/US happy............I think it might be cos I actually take care of the place and the yard...I have always enjoyed nice things and a nice home...and having a place that is getting renovated is a great feeling .........PLUS I get to re-decorate.



Moving on...

I am going back to Portland In August to see Stace and Patti Anne...........I know...I know..........I said I would never go back to Portland after the last trip, BUT I WILL NOT be seeing the freaks that I was seeing in my past travels (Binks excluded of course) so this time it should be all gravy.

School is trudging along..........I have a few assignments in each course and I am finished, then its time to do my Writing Portfolio and I am ready for fall classes...........


I really have nothing else to report..........I need to call fairy grrl in New York here soon as she has called me several times and I have yet to call her back...so I am doing that tomorrow...........I feel bad for not keeping in better touch with her, but life has a way of getting in the way of well...LIFE

I best end this.........I have laundry to fold and I wanna finish Hostage ...so far it’s been pretty good.

OH and one more thing

I sure love me Aunt Glo..........I do

She is the best Aunt a grrl could ask for.

:)

Test

For all those who know me and even those who dont..........why not take me lil quiz?

I stole it.....

Cos I like it.........

If you would prefer to email me your answers.......
u can
nftc15@hotmail.com


Just copy an paste babes

I did!!


give it a go...


1. who are you?

2. are we friends?

3. when did we meet?

4. how have i affected you?

5. what do you think of me?

6. whats the fondest memory you have of me?

7. how long do you think we'll be friends?

8. do you love me?

9. do u have a crush on me? have you ever?

10. would u kiss me?

11. would u hug me?

12. physically what stands out?

13. emotionally, what stands out?

14. do u wish i was cooler?

15. on a scale of 1-10, how hot am i?

16. give me a nickname, explain why u picked it

17. am i loveable?

18. how long have u known me?

19. describe me in one word

20. what was your first impression?

21. do you still think that way about me?

22. what do u think my weakness is?

23. do u think i'll get married?

24. what makes me happy?

25. what makes me sad?

26. what reminds u of me?

27. if u could give me anything, what would it be?

28. how well do u know me?

29. whens the last time u saw me?

30. ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

31. do u think i could kill someone?

32. do you miss me?

33. do u think i miss u?

wow

I just got off of the phone with a friend of mine that I haven’t spoken to in over a yr....and to be truthful I didn’t think I would ever speak to again..........I will say that I am glad she found me..........more so than I can express..........she has always made me laugh and I can confide in her about any and everything...and I do……….as trust me friends like her are so far and few between…………..



But most importantly

She is just LAUGHS…. seriously…this grrl gives me a gut ache

And I LOVE that about her

So thanx Stace.........for finding me

Again

This time we shall continue our friendship without the intermissions.........’fingers crossed’


Moving on...........

Nothing to new to report.........well a bit of drama with Mr.C and Mr. Porcelain, but I will get into that later on...............I am too tried to divulge the drama of my brother.........

3.5 hour phone calls can tire a gal out..........

Plus the West Wing is on…and those of you who are my devoted readers… know I am a huge political nerd…

Could be worse…

Couldn’t it?

condolences

I would like to express my sincerest condolences to all those that have suffered in 2days attack in London.

I really just don’t have the words.....

busy

I am so busy its really just....... well............busy

I just finished my workout and now I have to run out and exchange some smokes at the rez for Aunt Glo, then I have to move beds around as I am getting a new mattress set today, which means I have to trade off my set for the new set and all the other moving involved, I then have to go to a diff store to pick out new carpet, THEN...I have to pick up some BBQ stuff for the BBQ tonight..........

Sometime today I must study...


Plus

N2 is really in dire straits with her BF and mum.............
Tis a mess

Truly


I was up til 3AM talking with her...as well as @ work last night she was upset

Poor thing

So I am trying to help her out..........

Also...
My ex contacted me again...which always trips me out...............

So there you go

mylfe

Fun.

Independence

Happy Birthday America!!!!

I have a bit of history with regards to our Independence Day

Independence Day is the national holiday of the United States of America commemorating the signing of the Declaration of Independence by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.


Independence Day is celebrated on July 4 because that is the day when the Continental Congress adopted the final draft of the Declaration of Independence. From July 8, 1776, until the next month, the document was read publicly and people celebrated whenever they heard it. The next year, in Philadelphia, bells rang and ships fired guns, candles and firecrackers were lighted. But the War of Independence dragged on until 1783, and in that year, Independence Day was made an official holiday. 1941 Congress declared 4th of July a federal holiday.

The first Independence Day celebration took place the following year - July 4 1777. By the early 1800s the traditions of parades, picnics, and fireworks were established as the way to celebrate America's birthday. And although fireworks have been banned in most places because of their danger, most towns and cities usually have big firework displays for all to see and enjoy.


So there you have it......a bit of history about our countries B-day.

While doing a bit of quick research I found this quote:

"Whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends (life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness), it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it, and to institute new government."

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826), from the Declaration of Independence

I happen to like this quote very much.......as I feel it exemplifies the document in its entirety.......

well for me it does


I have always been fond of this day as I am very fond of our American history and of our country, regardless of what may be happening at present............

today America will be celebrating her 229th B-Day, so I would like to take this time to wish everyone a very Happy Independence Day!!!

Enjoy the bbq's, fireworks, and parades...........as for me...........I am working today.........this will be the 1st 4th I have worked in 6 yrs......but to tell you true, I celebrated on Friday........

So it’s all-good....

Onward

So I made a decision today

I also completely finished another chapter in mylfe

Seems another Blogger is doing the same thing, although I believe we are on different chapters.........I am sorry to c her go.......I shall stay.....I am not done yet.

Moving on........

Mr. C is taking me out to dinner 2 nite.

I ran a mile today while at the gym, YES a MILE....I am flippin happy about that.....I am really taking this working out very seriously.....and the results are really showing......I have been getting some really nice compliments.......so thank you to those who have noticed.......and fuck you to those who haven’t

heheh

Anyway...........

I must be off.....I just mowed the lawn jammin out to Toni B.....her 1st CD is jammin, I still am in love with her music..........

So that is Coley's musical choice of the week for those who care

Toni Braxton
Toni Braxton

excellent.....and very fitting for my current state of life...

Ok then I am off to shower and then have some dinner

I am very hungry.......

drama

i have to give an answer soon to somone

Dont know what I will say

well I do


Other than that


Nadda

well thats not true


alot actually

But I am done with it

I have more important things too deal with


So how about them Yankees?

Me

I dedicate this song to me

and only me


Train
Hopeless

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I’d tell it to your face
But you lost your face along the way
And I’d say it on the phone
If I thought you were alone
Why do things have to change

But you don’t need my pictures on your wall
You say you need no one
And you don’t need my secret midnight call
I guess you need no one
Is anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it’s time that will tell if it’s heaven if it’s hell or if it’s
Anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it’s time that will tell this tale

You’re in and out up and down
Wonder if you’re lost or found
But I got my hands on you
Are you strong enough to tow the line
Are you gonna make me yours
Or do I make you mine
I’m in and out I’m up and down
Wonder if I’m lost or found
But I need your hands on me now

But you don’t need my pictures on your wall
You say you need no one
And you don’t need my secret midnight call
I guess you need no one
Is anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it’s time that will tell if it’s heaven if it’s hell or if it’s
Anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it’s time that will tell this tale

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change

Hopeless

I am hopeless

I mean....one minute I'm up ...the next I'm down

what the fuck?

I have never been good with the big L

never ever

ever


Moving on........thankfully


I watched THE AVIATOR last night

Leo was great

the film was great

Howie baby

you were a weird one

great visionary

but a bit whacked


sad really


Ok back to me.....

I am hopeless.................


so hopeless

Disoriented

Has anyone 'sides me ever been so confused about their own feelings that they don’t know whether to laugh or cry? Or perhaps both?

Cos that would be me............

I founded out something........about a certain someone I thought I was no longer interested in........and this info has made me feel......well I feel sorta....

Bewildered, bugged, chagrined, confounded, confused, crushed, discombobulated, discomfited, disconcerted, disgraced, embarrassed, fazed, fuddled, humbled, humiliated, mortified, rattled, red-faced, shamed, shy, taken aback, blurred, chaotic, disarranged, disordered, disorderly, disorganized, haywire, higgledy-piggledy, in disarray, jumbled, messy, miscalculated, mistaken, misunderstood, obscured, snafu, topsy-turvy, unsettled...

....and well

all in all

I really just feel



PISSED OFF !!!


As this confusion of me emotions about this person is something I am not used to.


I have not been this out of sorts since I was with Tea Bag..


I not a happy grrl.

No Siree Bob ....

Not at all....

Shop

Its official

I have a problem

In a big way


I am a shopaholic

I went out 2day to exchange the Nautica Tee Mr.C bought me @ Costco, I exchanged it for some black Capri Dockers.........

OK.....that’s fine.

I then venture to JC Penny's to exchange the St. Johns Bay top for a top that I will actually wear and in the process realized that I needed a new pair of Keds to go with my new Liz Claiborne shorts I bought, I then realized that I also needed a new pair of scandals to go with the new Capri's I picked up @ Costco.........so I venture to Shopko as they have great shoe sales and I did pick up the Keds, Scandals and a new pair of Nikes that I didn’t need but they were marked down from $60 to $14....so me being me......thought to myself I would be a complete fool if I didn’t buy them ......


I then came home and looked in me closet and realized I have not a speck of space left for anything new.............

I need help.........

well.........

actually I need to have my hair done and my nails to go with my new............